Thursday, December 31, 2009

Break out the box of wine

Well, the year is finally drawing to a close and I can think of no better way to celebrate that than by hanging with Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper.

I'm so glad that they're hosting the CNN countdown tonight for the third year in a row. They're very funny together and, I'm sure, Kathy will end up saying something hilarious and controversial, like she did last year.

I can't wait!

Also, I saw "Avatar" tonight and, I have to was pretty amazing.

If you're gonna see it (and I highly recommend that you do), see it in a good theater and definitely in 3D. The visuals are spectacular, the alien's eyes don't have that "dead" Polar Express-look, and the 3D glasses actually work really well (something I've never had luck with in the past). I went in with low expectations and was very pleasantly surprised.

I hope you all have a very happy, safe, and fun New Year's Eve!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Welcome to Nightmare Isla!

Thanks to one of my readers, Brad, guess where I'm not planning my next vacation?

La Isla De La Munecas.

Or, as the locals call it...The Island of the Dolls.

Almost every tree growing on the island is decorated with old, mutilated dolls that give anyone the feeling that they’re constantly being watched. The story behind the Island of the Dolls began when a hermit by the name of Don Julian Santana moved here. Although he was married he chose to live the last 50 years of his life alone.

Don Julian used to say he was haunted by the ghost of the little girl who had drowned in one of the canals around the island. Some say he used to fish the dolls from the water because he though they were real children, but the truth is he was collecting and placing them around his home as a shrine for the spirit that tormented him. At one point he even traded home grown fruit and vegetables for old dolls.

Ironically, in 2001 Don Julian Santana was found dead by his nephew, in the same canal that he said the little girl drowned in.

Well, doesn't Creepy Doll Island just sound like the perfect relaxing getaway?

I can feel my soul being ripped away from my body as I type this....

Now, where did I put that Xanax....

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Space Relations

Slash Fiction has been around for a while, so I suppose that it was only a matter of time before someone used technology and fancy audio-editing, as this person did with Zachary Quinto's reading of the "Star Trek" movie novel, to take things to the next erotic level between Kirk and Spock.

I don't usually post NSFW stuff on the blog, but it's you can turn down the volume or just pop in your headset if you don't feel like sharing "Brokeback Enterprise" with the rest of the office.

I have seen the new "Star Trek" movie many times and I'm pretty certain that that particular scene was not in the film...

Monday, December 28, 2009

Monster Mash-up

Here is a pretty cool mix of 2009's Top 25 pop hits...

I'd be happy to have the "Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night" song not follow us into 2010.

It was fun at first, but it's way over-played these days.

I've got a feeling, whoo HOO.....please, make it stop!

Thursday, December 24, 2009


This was a surprise...

One of Hollywood's most enduring relationships has ended -- Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins have broken up after more than two decades together.

The couple met on the set of "Bull Durham," and they have two sons together, Jack, 20, and Miles, 17.

I always liked them as a couple because they seemed like a good fit in so many ways. But, 20 years together is still pretty amazing in Hollywood-time...

Isn't that like 200 years to us regular folks?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

For the rest of us

"Seinfeld" gave us many outlandishly hilarious scenarios over the years and a few of them still live on to this day. One of the most beloved, is the annual December 23rd celebration of "Festivus". For those of you who may not remember what that is, has posted a great article on it...

"The December 23 observance calls for little more than the erection of an aluminum pole, the airing of grievances and the demonstration of feats of strength -- which preferably culminate in wrestling down to the ground and pinning the head of the household."

Although the holiday is made up, if you think about it, the details kind of describe what often happens at many Christmas gatherings all around the world....erection of an aluminum pole (fake trees), airing of grievances (many bickering family Christmas dinners) and demonstrations of feats of strength (fights that break out after too much egg nog and bickering).

Watch out for Grandma's left hook today everyone...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Git yer hur did

In case you were wondering how "Jersey Shore's" DJ Pauly D manages to create that super-do that he does so well....

I would love to see him try that with Dippity-do.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Whip it good

It looks like Mickey Roarke is gonna cause some trouble in the "Iron Man 2" sequel. This new trailer is a good one.

Also, the new trailer for "Alice in Wonderland" looks cool and fun.

Tim Burton should direct the "Lidsville" movie if they ever develop one.
Maybe Johnny Depp's mad-hatter could make a cameo.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Situation

This is Mike.

He refers to his abs as "the situation".

My abs, on the other hand, are a completely different situation altogether.

I haven't seen MTV's new reality show, "Jersey Shore", but I can't seem to go anywhere online without seeing a picture, quote or clip from it. Apparently, it's about a group of young whoring guidos and guidettes living in a place together on the, get this...Jersey Shore.

The boys, more than the girls, seem to be getting the most publicity and, I imagine, it's because of their bulging...personalities.

Mike is the breakout star of the show and he appears to be more confident than anyone should be, yet, like all of us, he just wants to be loved that so wroooooong? Take this quote he gave E! about his gay fans...

"I'll be honest, I like the attention [from gay men]. I'm flattered if there are guys with different preferences that have crushes on me."

I wonder how he feels about the guys with different preferences who like wearing diapers and drinking out of a bottle having a crush on him?

Even I'm not that open-minded.

Of course, none of the guidos are actually gay, which is probably a good thing. Apparently the boys already fight with the girls over time in the bathroom to do their hair. If they were all gay, the house would need a lot more mirrors, closets and hair gel to keep everyone from having a meltdown.

Speaking of hair...

This is DJ Pauly D who, according to his bio, orders gel by the case and does his hair twice a day. That's not gay, it's just...practical. Here he is, I assume, wishing his straight friend "good luck" before a date with a girl with big hair and store-bought hooters.

Again, not gay. It's just bro-support.

And we all know that support can be beautiful.

This is Ronnie.

According to his bio, he is just a lover who wants to have a good time.

Ronnie might want to spend a little more time with his roommate, Pauly D.

As much as I hate these kinds of reality shows for showcasing and promoting the grossest possible stereotypes of humanity who likely signify the end of civilization as we know it (and that goes for "Flava of Love" and all versions of "Housewives" from any city), I can't help but think they should do "Santa Monica Shores" and feature some famous D-list Hollywood guidos living in a foreclosed condo on the beach. The casting possibilities are endless...

Tony Danza hasn't done "Dancing with the Stars" yet, so they could probably get him for a song and a dance (and he likes doing both of those).

Richard "Booker" Grieco could probably use a break from his European singing career (I have one of those too) and straight-to-DVD movies for some quality time in the surf and sand.

Joey "Whooaaa!" Lawrence did do "Dancing with the Stars", but has obviously had to suppliment his income since by bartending at the "Slippery Fist". So, I'm sure they could snag him for a couple weeks of bro-bonding.

And, of course, they'd have to get Antonio Sabato Jr.

Athough he did do "My Antonio" last year, I doubt his search for true love ended up being all he thought it would be when he started looking for it, as we all do, during eight grueling weeks on camera.

He's obviously comfortable with the beach, hair gel and flexing...

I'm sensing a Matriarch...

I need to call my agent.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Happy Ho Hos

Nothin' says "Merry Christmas" like a bar full of drunken Santas!

Well...for some of us, anyway.

I was working up in San Francisco last weekend and, as I was walking up the street, I noticed an Irish Pub hijacked by Santas. Of course, I had to go inside and found it completely stuffed to the gills with an eclectic crowd of Santas with their collective bellies and other bits packed firmly around the bar.

It turns out that it was SantaCon 2009 in SF (and in many other cites across the country). In SF alone, there were over 2000 people participating in the annual ritual of dressing up as Santa (or a Santa-adjacent character) and bar-hopping from early morning until late into the night. I may have to start looking for a suit for next year's event...

Of course, when you mix a couple thousand Santas with over twelve hours of drinking...what do you think you end up with?

I spotted the Lenny and Squiggy of Santas stumbling down the street around 11:00 that night. As you can see by their...hats, somewhere between the North Pole and the Castro District, they appear to have misplaced their holiday pashminas and sensible shoes.

I covered their lower-equators in order to keep this site family-friendly and your digestive system intact.

If dressing up as a Jenny Craig-challenged holiday icon and drinking until you disrobe isn't your cup of eggnog, then perhaps you'd rather do this...

Evidently, there are a variety of Santa Speedo Runs scheduled around the country each year as well. All you have to do is don a holiday hat, a skimpy suit, some comfy shoes and...away you go. The guy above was running in Boston, where I'm sure it was a "wee" bit chilly, which is always good for the nether regions.

These guys ran in San Francisco (although I don't recall seeing them...oh, right, they don't run inside bars)...

And these brave folks ran in Atlanta, which I'm sure was also a little nippy....

I definitely admire their dedication, hard work, and athletic prowess...but, if I had to choose between the two festive events...

You'd likely find me dressed as Santa at the nearest bar watching the other group running by in all of their Louganis glory.

It's just how I roll.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

She's soaking in it

I wonder if Madge is using Palmolive?

Madonna's new 2010 Dolce Gabbana ads feature her posing as an Italian housewife. In this photo, I'm sure she's yelling back to the photographer...

"Hey, what are all of these filthy dishes doing in this tiny bathtub? And what do you call this mysterious room with all the food in it?"

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

More kids

I was very excited to hear that the Canadian comedy team "Kids in the Hall" are currently filming a new short series for Canadian TV (which we'll hopefully get here in the states at some point). It's called "Death Comes to Town" and looks like it should be a hoot.

It's good to see them together again after all of this time, especially Scott Thompson who is battling cancer throughout the shoot.

I used to watch "Kids in the Hall" all the time. I always found it funnier than "Saturday Night Live" and it reminded me of another Canadian comedy show, "SCTV", that I also never missed.

The kids were kind of like a younger/hipper version of "Monty Python" and they created a hilarious group of stock characters, often in drag, that were at once relateable, shocking and, always, hilarious.

Like....the Chicken Lady, who was always horny and would become so excited that she would "explode" into a burst of feathers at some point.

The secretaries at an office who were always involved in some kind of silly personal drama or work-place issue.

And, of course, the "I'm crushing your head" guy who would hide in the bushes and take out his anger on people by secretely "crushing" their heads as they walked by.

I've done the same thing myself to a few people over the years....

Monday, December 14, 2009

Glam squad

Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper are part of a new campaign...

Here's the first image from a M.A.C. Viva Glam cosmetics campaign for Spring 2010 featuring Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga. Lauper and Lady Gaga are the newest faces of the M.A.C. AIDS Fund, which has donated over $135 million to fight IV/AIDS since 1994.

"Gaga Lipstick and Viva Glam Cyndi Lipstick, $14 each, will launch in North America on March 18 and globally throughout the month, with 100 percent of the proceeds being donated to the MAC AIDS Fund."

Good gals...good cause.

Good times.

Friday, December 11, 2009

More sex...

Oh...and the city.

I wonder if Ponch knows Carrie stole his sunglasses?