Vampire Hours

Tres Jolie

2010-07-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

I saw Salt this week and really enjoyed it.

It's really well-directed, action-packed, and is very similar in look/feel to the Bourne Identity movies, but with Angelina beautifully serving up the can of Whoop-ass instead of Matt Damon.

So, if you're in the mood for dinner and a movie this weekend...

Don't pass on the Salt.

Support system

2010-07-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

I bet their Father's Day dinner was...awkward.

I'm older spice

2010-07-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

Since today is my birthday (and I've chosen not to cry, if I want to), I've decided to post a few of these Old Spice Commercial musical remixes because they make me laugh.

And laughter is the best medicine.

Well...after vodka, of course.

Yes...I'd actually like a man who smells like a cake.

I love the split screen part where he is singing the "Do do do do do's" along with himself.

I'm easily amused.

I keep looking...back at him.

He's on a horse.

Still laughing...

You look "great"...

2010-07-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

My "friend" DeAnna sent me a link to the "blog" of "Unnecessary" quotation marks. It's pretty entertaining and definitely makes you think twice before making any hasty decisions in life...

We all know how "clean" the rooms in this "lavish" motel will be.

As opposed to the old and not-so-delicious ones they had yesterday...

I think that anyone who ever went to college or Woodstock knows about these "brownies".

Now this company knows how to keep its customers "satisfied"!

Mental Note: Schedule "carpet cleaning".

Reflecting on nature

2010-07-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

From the makers of Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet....welcome to Sweden's Tree Hotel:

The hotel, which opens this month, is made of tree house units, each with a different theme and most designed by a different architect. The rooms vary between 15 and 30 square meters in size and 4 to 6 meters from the ground, and have either two or four beds each

Above is the "Mirrorcube" unit—designed to reflect its surroundings, but the glass has an infrared film, invisible to humans, that will prevent birds from flying into it.

It's a pretty cool idea and the MirrorCube is just one of the unique designs. Here are a couple others that are currently available:

The Bird's Nest Unit

The Cabin Unit

The Cone Unit

And, my favorite...the UFO Unit.

If that one comes with a "Lost in Space" robot that shouts "Danger, Will Robinson!" if someone tries to break in...

I'm in.

Here is the Treehotel's Web site if you'd like to book a room for me.

Christmas IS gonna be here before you know it...

Space eVader

2010-07-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

Seems that even the Galactic Empire is having a tough time in this economy. Darth Vader was spotted robbing a bank in Long Island yesterday...

The costumed man, with a mask and cape, entered a Chase bank Thursday morning and demanded cash. Although he didn't have a lightsaber, his gun was more than enough to persuade the teller to hand over the money. The caped criminal then fled east through the bank's parking lot.

He quickly left Long Island...

Then headed directly into Manhattan, where he was spotted on a subway train trying to shake down Princess Leia again...

He quickly asked a couple girls nearby to give him directions from their archaic audio communications device...

Then hijacked a getaway pedi-cab near Central Park...

Then headed West, stopping only to perform "Bad Romance" at a Lady Gaga concert in Madison, Wisconsin...

Made a quick "pit-stop" outside the venue...

Stole a motorcycle from a local Rotary Club fish fry just down the road...

Then, sped across the country, stopping quickly to congratulate Oakland Raiders owner, Al Davis (left), for winning Sports Illustrated's "Worst Owner in the NFL" title...

He then drove straight down to San Diego, hoping to blend in with all of the other Vaders at Comic Con this weekend.

Darth's Jewish grandmother and Mary Kay Galactic Empire representative, Darth Vera, was interviewed by the San Diego Reader this morning and only had this to say about the whole incident:

"What a shanda (Yiddish for "shame"). He was always such a nice boy."

He is still on the lam.

So, if there is a knock on your door tonight and you hear unusually heavy electronic breathing outside...don't open the door.

Call your local authorities immediately.

Pull my finger

2010-07-22T13:36:00.000-07:00

Gawker posted a story about Subtle Butt and, having the mind of a 12-year-old boy, I just couldn't let it slip by without sharing it...

Finally, a way to dignify the experience of sitting around farting in your pants: Meet Subtle Butt, the odor-eating butt patch. "I use them on airplanes, after a chili meal, and even on my dog," says its evangelistic creator.

And, of course, there's a tactful video that shows just how well the product works...

"Hey Mom...I just got cast as the lead female scientist in a new TV commercial. You and Dad are going to be the talk of the town once this baby starts airing!"

Chelsea Handler is going to have a field day talking about this new product.

Lordy...as if the Marriage Blanket wasn't bad enough, now we've got this butt-patch and THESE other useful products from the same company:

Solutions That Stick features other stick-on products like Knicker Sticker (it sticks to the crotch of your pants to prevent camel toe) and White Collar Grime (you stick it to your collar so you don't sweat on it). 

I have restrained myself vigorously from littering this post with fart references about Subtle Butt, but the great thing about the people who comment on Gawker is that they...do not. Here are some of my favorites:

"Let's call them Stanx. (You're welcome!)"

"12 bucks for a pack of 5??? If I had that kind of money, I'd just buy a new ass."

"I anxiously await the arrival of Subtle Box to help me with my lady business odors."

"But how does this address the sharting issue?"

There are some very funny people out there in this world.

Sue Saves It

2010-07-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Watch Sue Sylvester do her part to save the planet for the opening of the VH1 "Do Something Awards"...

That flowing wig and house dress she was sleeping in at the beginning was hilarious!

FYI: Blogger has just added a couple new design elements below each post. So, now you can easily share any of my posts with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, or on your own blog.

Plus, they've added some fun "Reaction" boxes below each post too, in case you wanna quickly "check" a response to any post, without having to go into the comments section (although I always enjoy seeing the written responses when someone takes the time to write one).

How's that for convenience?!

So...I hope you enjoy and use those often.

Won't you?

Good luck in prison

2010-07-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

Warner Bros. is remaking one of my favorite movies of all-time, Arthur.

They have already started filming in New York City (I know it's crazy, but it's true) with Russell Brand taking over the role of Arthur and Dame Helen Mirren taking over Sir John Gielgud's classic role of Hobson (she'll be Arthur's nanny, instead of his butler).

New-comer, Greta Gerwig will be taking over the role of Linda (the Liza Minelli role).

And Jennifer Garner (seen here on set) will be taking over the role of the society girl that Arthur is supposed to marry if he wants to keep his inheritance. Her character's crazy father will be played by the equally-crazy Nick Nolte.

I'm really nervous about this update because, for the most part...Hollywood remakes fail (and YES...I'm talking to you Nora Ephron with your horrific butchery of one of my other all-time favorite properties, Bewitched!!!) more often than they succeed (Bless you J.J. Abrams for Star Trek!).

So, you can imagine that my Pop Culture brain almost imploded when I saw this picture of Russell Brand on the set of the movie in a Batman costume (with Luis Guzman as Robin).

Uhhh...that wasn't part of the original movie at all.

Breathe...

They DO seem to have a good cast for this remake...of course, so did Bewitched (What were you THINKING, Nora????!!!)

Breathe...

I'm gonna walk it off now...

Dream Weaver

2010-07-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

I saw "Inception" this weekend and it was trippy-good fun.

It's got a great cast and one of those endings that will have you meticulously dissecting it with friends for hours after you've left the theater.

Enjoyable.

First Look: Green Lantern Costume

2010-07-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

Entertainment Weekly got the first image of Ryan Reynolds in his all-CGI Green Lantern movie costume.

It certainly looks like the comic book version to me.

And, of course, the character is nothing without the ring...

"My preciousssss...."

Enjoyable.

Tweet Spice

2010-07-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

The Old Spice brand executed a hilarious Twitter campaign yesterday where their sexy spokesperson, Isaiah Mustafa, tweeted customized video responses to a variety of tweets, some even from celebrities, he was sent over the course of a few hours.

Like this one from Alyssa Milano...

And this one from Rose McGowan...

The Old Spice team really did a great job getting people to participate and the results and response from the public was the stuff Social Media campaign creators dream of. This from Mashable:

"In this amazingly well run campaign, the team behind it managed to engage half of the Internet, and provoke almost unequivocally positive results from social media sites such as Reddit and Twitter. Hell, even the comments on YouTube were overwhelmingly positive – and that never happens. The Old Spice Twitter account accumulated tens of thousands of new followers; the YouTube videos amassed hundreds of thousands of views. Old Spice did it by doing everything perfectly. 

The Old Spice guy recorded his video responses in rapid succession, an amazing feat in itself which cannot be truly appreciated if you’ve never been in front of a camera. His answers were a perfect mix of coolness and the stuff internet memes are made of. 

Like this wedding proposal tweet...

The actual brand – Old Spice – was never shoved into viewers’ throats. Most importantly, all of it was incredibly fun to watch. The team behind the campaign took great care to engage celebrities, influencers, common folks and popular social media sites in equal amount."

Even their "The Campaign Is Over Now" video was well-planned and contained an Old Spice commercial random ending...

I wish they had pulled back and showed him sitting on a horse.

THAT would have made the campaign perfect.

Keandra

2010-07-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

This photo of Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves "merged" came up in a random Google search I did for "Gross Candles".

I love the Internets.

Tree Hugger

2010-07-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a new "Sassy Gay Friend" video. This time, he's helping Shel Silverstein's " The Giving Tree"...

It's a shame Mel Gibson doesn't really like the gays.

He could have used a little advice before he decided to leave all of those detailed phone messages for his ex-girlfriend recently.

He's a stupid biatch.

Want to play a game?

2010-07-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

This short film, Pixels, show what would happen if old-school video games took over New York City...

Of course, one of the studios is trying to buy the rights to this with the hopes of making a feature film out of it.

I'm still waiting for the Rock'em Socke'em Robots movie to be made.

Calendar Girl

2010-07-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

I bet it sells better than the Jessica Tandy Calendar.

Betty White will be wrapping up her big year by releasing a 2011 Calendar for all of her fans:

Golden Girls star Betty White has created a calendar to raise funds for a wildlife charity in the US. Royalties from the actress's 2011 calendar will go towards the Morris Animal Foundation which White supports.

I love me some Betty White and am so happy that she's gotten all the publicity that she has this year. She's always hilarious, gracious and is one of the funniest women around. If you haven't been watching "Hot In Cleveland" on TVLand, you should start! It really is a funny show and the cast is a hoot to watch.

March looks like a really good month.

Downloadable Huggies?

2010-07-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

I'm already creeped out by scary dolls, so the idea of having one of these "Baby-bots" wandering around the house or neighborhood really isn't helping things...

Did you notice there's been a proliferation of robot infants, robot toddlers, and robot children in the past few years? It seems roboticists enjoy becoming parents to bionic babies. They build them for a good reason: These bots help researchers not only learn more about robotics but also investigate human cognition, language acquisition, and motor development. Some Japanese researchers even say robot babies could help introduce young people to the wonders of parenthood and boost birth rates.

Boost birth rates?

I don't think having one of those plugged into a wall beside the bed is gonna help anyone get in the mood for relations.

*Shiver*

Scary Potter

2010-07-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, the last two Harry Potter movies (the final book broken down into two money-making marketing machines) will start rolling out soon and things don't look that bright for the not-so-wee wizards at Hogwarts.

I mean...the place is on fire.

That can't be good.

Since the trailer is so dark, I'm still not all that clear about what's going on. But it looks like there are lots of battles, angst, and magic...so I'm in!

Oh...I also saw "The Last Airbender" last night in 3D.

That image was the best part of the movie.

Not that part of the movie...but that image.

The rest of it is VERY disappointing.

If you must see it...then see it in 2D and NOT 3D (the effects are awful).

Better yet...rent it.

Dolce and Madonna

2010-07-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

The new series of Italian Dolce and Gabbana ads are out. In the last set, Madonna was washing dishes. In these, it seems she's socializing with the locals a bit more...

"Who are these people and how did they get into my guest cottage?"

"I like it when two guys fight over me. I'll take them BOTH!"

"I'm pretty sure mine is bigger than yours."

"Can you believe that he just came out of that while I was wearing THIS?"

Doesn't suck

2010-07-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

Seems that the Twilight-kids spent a little money this weekend...

The third pic in the franchise, and the best-reviewed, went on to make $24.2M Thursday, $28.6M Friday, $23.9M Saturday, $13.7 Sunday, and an estimated $16.4M Monday. So that's $69M for the 3-day weekend, and $82.5M for the 4-day July Fourth Holiday, $162 for the first 5 days, and a total $175.3M for the full 6-day release. 

Eclipse topped the foreign circuit this weekend with $104.6M from 6,951 screens in a relatively contained opening break of 42 territories.

Worldwide total: $279.6 M. Film's budget: $68 M.

Wow...that's a LOT of cash to make in 6 days.

I need to come up with the next big movie franchise that teen girls will go nuts over.

I wonder if I could write a script that would make yard gnomes mysterious and sexy?

I think we'd have to lose the beards...and the hats.

And they'll need abs.

High Anxiety

2010-07-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

Lordy...they're gonna have a lot of pee in that pool.

The $5.95 billion Marina Bay Sands Hotel, Singapore finally opened its doors to public in a gala event, and it also managed to dethrone the Emirates Palace Hotel, Abu Dhabi from its position as the world's most expensive hotel. 

But that's not all, the main attraction of the hotel is a 650ft wide pool perched up at the 55th storey of the magnificent hotel, making it the largest outdoor pool in the world that high. Called as the Infinity pool, the drop at the edge of the pool spills into a three-tiered catchment which pumps water right back to the main pool!

The hotel features 2,560 rooms that would cost you $520 a night. Designed by Moshe Safdie, the structure is said to be based on the design resembling a deck of cards. The hotel décor includes an indoor canal that has Sampan boats to ride in, a casino, an outdoor plaza, a convention centre, a theatre, a crystal pavilion and a lotus flower shaped museum.

It looks like an amazing place and I'd love to visit (or stay, if I won the lotto) and take photos of the cool design elements.

However...just looking at these people "lounging" at the edge of that pool so high up in the air makes me a bit woozy.

It's a disaster movie just waiting to happen.

Michael Bay must be ovulating with excitement.

If you'd like to see much larger versions of these pics, click here and then click on the images on that site.

Smell of adventure

2010-07-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest Old Spice commercial with the same actor, Isaiah Mustafa (who recently signed a TV talent deal with a network because of the publicity surrounding the first commercial)...

Did you notice that the bottom of his legs remained when the set split?

I'm surprised this one didn't end with "I'm on a motorcycle."

Here is the original commercial that got it all started...

The "I'm on a horse." line still makes me laugh every time.

Lose the jacket

2010-06-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

Wonder Woman is getting an extreme makeover and, honestly, if it ain't broke...

DC Comics is releasing a new Wonder Woman comic today (above) and she's sporting a new look, complete with dark leggings and some kind of retro Joan Jett jacket, which just doesn't work for me.

I mean...REALLY? Have they learned nothing from history?

Here is Kathy Lee Crosby in the original "Wonder Woman" pilot for ABC wearing a jacket-centric costume.

That look doesn't say "Wonder Woman". It says "Flight attendant...could I please get another vodka?".

Now THIS is what Wonder Woman should look like!

See...no jacket works SO much better.

And, although Edna Mode isn't a big fan of capes...I think it works for her.

Even Debra Winger, as Wonder Girl, didn't have a jacket.

Unfortunately, she doesn't really look that happy in this pic from the episode.

I'm sure she said "So, I'm gonna have to stand next to HER and THOSE in THIS? I am getting paid cash, right?"

She didn't even really seem to enjoy her "Spin", which is the best part of the transformation...just kinda half-asses it.

It's like she's a little drunk and afraid she's gonna wobble into the nearby lockers.

Again....she should have learned from the pro.

THIS is how you spin, missy!

Arms UP! Hair UP! Check the waist and back and, if you do it right...you can even spin into different form-fitting outfits for every occasion.

And...not a jacket in sight!

They really are a wonder...

Wonder Woman.

Downsizing

2010-06-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

I had no idea that the housing market was so bad in London too...

At least she got to keep one guard for her new digs.

I mean...she is the Queen, after all.

Adam's Apple

2010-06-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest "Sassy Gay Friend" video...this one features Adam and Eve.

It looks like Adam has been hitting the Paradise Gym regularly...

If you want to see the other "Sassy Gay Friend" videos...click here.