Ain't no mountain high enough

And I thought the view from my hotel balcony was nice...check out the view from Liz's living room.

Liz had the misfortune of sitting next to me on the flight from Melbourne to ChristChurch a couple of weeks ago. "Misfortune", in the sense of, she told me that she lived in Queenstown and that, when I got there, I should contact her. I'm sure she was just being polite and must have thought/hoped that this chatty American would forget or lose her contact info. But, I didn't...



It's funny, when I called her a couple days ago, I heard something in the background and asked her if she had one of those soothing "Sounds of Nature" CDs on and she laughed and said "No, it's just a bird..I have the sounds of nature actually here.". After she picked me up today to join her on her regular hike up into a nearby mountain, we stopped by her home for a second and I got to see where she lives. The pictures above and below show the view that she has from her house...can you believe it? Unobstructed views of another part of the lake and several mountain ranges.





And that's just the front yard. This is her view in the backyard...



Maggie...I think I found your dream house (we've just gotta get Liz to donate it to us).

It was just so beautiful there that I told Liz, even if we didn't do anything else, it would have been just fine to sit and stare at the lake and mountains. But, she still wanted to go hike and, she's no monkey...I'd get me out of her house too. So, off we went, first stopping at a secret "Lord of the Rings" site that isn't on any of the overpriced tours they give here. Peter Jackson bought this particular parsel of land and restricted it...but, Liz knew the one lane that could access it. So, we drove up this long, windy hill into a grove of trees and here it is...



Nice....hill. Liz laughed and said that this is what most of the tours do...take people to little areas that pretty much look like this and say "'This is where the blah blah blah happened or was shot", but there is no set piece or marker there to show the "before". Just an area of land, your imagination and your credit card charge. This particular area had a large columned stone (faux stone) castle on it (from the first movie) and, if you scratch a bit below the dirt in places, you can find wee bits of the dusty foam remnants. I'm glad I didn't pay the honkin' price for one of those tours...



So, we got to the base of the mountain, parked the car, and headed up the nearby trail. This was no sissy-hike, it was a steep, windy hike and I "let" Liz lead for a couple of reasons. One, because she knew where we were going (she hikes/runs this about 3 times a week) and, Two, because I didn't want her to hear the sound of my heart bursting, which I was certain it was going to do at several points during the hike. It was probably good for her, because it shut me up for a bit so she could enjoy the serene setting. But, I actually did a pretty good job of keeping up with her and she showed me a variety of really cool, hidden areas....like this water fall and swimming hole that some people use in the summer to cool down.





Then we wandered up further and she showed me this natural tunnel in the middle of one part of the mountain.



I took my picture and was ready to get back on the trail, when she said "No, we're going through it.", which we did. Not a bug, spider or snake to be found...which is one of the many reasons I enjoy New Zealand. I haven't seen one spider or large bug since I've been here...just a few sand flies, which is something I can deal with. It was like walking through Jurassic Park, but without the dinosaurs, danger or Jeff Goldblum.



We hiked even higher and, before my head had a chance to explode from the lack of oxygen, we came across Sammy Summer's cabin (or Jamie Summers cabin...some summer's cabin). It used to be where an old prospector lived back in the 1800's (there's still some gold in these here hills). So, it's kept up and, somewhat maintained, for people to check out if they survive the climb.



There is even a guest book on the desk that people sign, which is pretty fun. Liz had a group of friends who, when filling out what their destination was, put "Liz's house for dinner" as a joke. Well, a few other random hikers over the next couple of months saw that and also put "Liz's house for dinner" too. So, of course, I put "Liz's house for lunch". Gotta continue the tradition.



We hiked even higher and came across another natural water fall and, sometime, swimming hole down below. I didn't swim, but it was beautiful to see, as everything else was on this hike. So many interesting things to see along the way. Like this huge, twisted tree that looked like where the Keebler elves might live...



This interesting rock sculpture that someone had created.



Liz said she notices them randomly appearing along the trails now and then. I told her it reminded me of the "Blair Witch Project" markers, but, thankfully, without the chicken bones or blood. Then, Liz said that we had one more nice lookout just up the trail and, "nice" was putting it mildly....



Who needs a silly "Lord of the Rings" tour when you get to see scenery like this? Thankfully, we had reached the top of the hike and finally headed back down the mountain, with me snapping pictures of the cool scenery that just seemed to continue appearing around each corner.







Before we hit the bottom of the mountain, I saw this house on a nearby hill...I bet they have a nice view.



Maggie...I'll see if I can get you this house instead. Liz is kind of attached to hers, as you can imagine.

We made it to the bottom and stopped on the bridge, chatting with an unusual local man who was talking about heading up into the mountain to pan for a little gold (and he was serious). Of course, now that I write about that, it occurs to me that maybe we saw the ghost of that Sammy Jamie Summers guy from up in the hill. Insert "Twilight Zone" music here....

We got back to Liz's, picked and ate a couple apples from one of her trees, and headed back into town. I'm so glad that she was kind enough to bring me along and show me the sights along the way. People pay big bucks to see the kind of scenery we saw today, for free. Maybe I'll come back here and give guided tours. Well...after they install a gondola and/or escalator up to the top, of course.



Before leaving, I had to take one last picture of her house, from the back yard this time.

Would you ever leave your house if you saw this kind of view every day?

I don't think I would.

Message from the box wine

Joel: I got another email from the house today, this time from "Mr. Vella". He appears to be, how should I put this...."concerned" with certain "neighbors" of his. I hate to paraphrase, so like the last message, I'll just cut and paste it, so you'll hear it straight from the box's tap:

Kinny,

Hope yer trip is a goin' good. We sure miss seein' your squinty puss peekin' in here once in a while. Frankly, we ain't seen much since ya' filled up yer sassypack and got outta dodge. Now, you know I ain't one to raise a ruckus, but we got us a big ole problem here next to the range and, if it don't git fixed soon, I ain't gonna be responsible fer my actions. See, yer pickled compadre, Joelle, hasn't peeked his blood-shot eyes inta here fer weeks. Last time, was to pull on my tap (which, from the look on his puss, seems to give him some kind of sick pleasure), tip me practically up on my backside and almost crushed the life out of me to git the last drop of my rare imported nectar. Now that my insides are plum empty, I've spent the last few weeks just sittin' here next to the moo juice (which is lookin' a little chunky lately) and havin' to put up with a SMELL that would peel the outsides off a banana (which, last time I got a gander beyond the ice box, would be a mercy killin' for those poor bastards fermentin' outside)!

NOW, you 'member that tuna crap you shoved in here before ya' left?

Well, it is STILL here and has stunk up the place so bad, I don't know how much longer any of us can stand it. Don't get me started on yer hoity-toity Hummus that's bin livin' here since Santa's birthday. I mean, I do admire its bravery from a couple weeks back...ya' shoulda seen it leap down from the upper shelf, bounce offa'tha pickle jar, richochet upside down offa'the mayo and land, upright, on top of the tuna beast in an attempt to smother the little bastard. However, Hummie's been smellin' ripe for months and between the two of'em, I swear...if I had anythin' left inside me, I'd spew it! If I'm lyin'...I'm dying (which is purty much what happened to them "smart veggies" that ya' shoved down into the crisper before ya' left. They're practically V8 now...and not the good kind).

You better find a way to git hold of yer compadre, and soon, or ya' might as well stay where ya' are, cause it ain' gonna be purty here when you git back. You catchin' what I'm throwin' at ya'?

Yers chillin'.

Mr. Vella

I think it might be best if you maybe take a few minutes this weekend to clean out the fridge. Mr. Vella sounds like he means business...

Hanging with the interbots

When I woke up, that was the view from the balcony.

It was also sprinkling a little, which usually means "Thar's a storm a' brewin'!". So, I decided it was a good day to just take my laptop into town and do some research, hopefully for free. See, almost every hotel in Queenstown (and most other New Zealand cities) charges to use the internet (my hotel charges $20/3 hours) and the internet cafes charge anywhere from $4-$7 hour...it's maddening. I was so spoiled at the Hotel SO with its free internet and mood lighting.

I immediately went to the local Starbucks, remembering that they seemed to have kids using the interbots all the time and, as I recalled, it was free. It turns out that, at least here, they charge $10/hour to use the internet. Greedy corporate bastards with great tasting Dulce de Leche frappacinos! I immediately left, frapp-free (well, no coffee anyway) and wandered around town looking for free internet access. I found one private coffee house that gave you an hour of free internet if you bought something/anything. So, I had a sandwich and their carmel frappacino (2 free hours!) and worked online there, then wandered around the wee city for a bit.



Can you believe that a hotel named "Amity" has vacancies? I didn't see blood dripping down the walls or Margot Kidder looking for her "teefs" in the bushes , but I did pick up my pace a bit.



This place wasn't far from Amity, but I opted not to try the "Satan Lovers" combo (comes with raw meat, meal worms and is slathered in "Eternal Hellfire" hot sauce). They should work with Amity and relocate to a dark Hellmouth near the outskirts of town, don't you think?



After passing those two places, I figured it wouldn't hurt me to spend a few minutes on hallowed ground, just to keep any lingering demons at bay. Speaking of bay...



I noticed a giant sailboat near the beach and watched as the kids on board were furiously spinning the steering wheel of their craft, causing it to lean dangerously close to one side. I was certain that I'd have to get ready to jump into the water and start pulling bodies out, but they righted themselves a bit later and continued on their way. It's just as well, it's not like I'd really just leave my backpack with computer on the beach, as well as having to empty my "purse pants" (something in every pocket) to dive into the cold water just to save a few rich kids who can't steer a boat. But, I would take graphic pictures and video of the accident and try to make some money from their tragedy....THAT'S the American way!



Besides, I'm sure that this gentleman and his trusty horned animal-friend would suddenly come to life, he'd say a few words like "Get thy wollen buttucks and curly horns into the water and save those children, Pinkerton!" and then a dramatic rescue would occur (which I'd also get on video and try to make money from). It happens in the movies all the time...so I have to believe that it is possible.

I'm also trying to figure out whether to go to Fiji (of "Blue Lagoon" fame) or Rarotonga (part of the Cook Islands) before I head into LA. Each have their pluses and minuses, but it's only about $130 for me to change my flight and stop at one of them on the way back. So, I spent a couple hours in the Air New Zealand local office to discuss my flight options (and getting their first-hand reviews of each, which was helpful) and will likely decide what I'm gonna do in the next few days.

So, I left there and have now spent the last 3 hours or so at one of the cheaper internet cafes ($3/hour) doing more island research and, of course, this blog.

I'm hungry too.

Hmmm...maybe I'll just download some snacks, upload my blog, then unload my ass from this chair and get out of this virtual island of misfit geeks...

What a scathingly brilliant idea!

On top of the world

I left James (the Englishman) and Finbarr, aka “Fin” (the Irishman), at a pub last night around 2:00 am and we all agreed to meet today at 1:00 pm to take the gondola up the mountain to see the city from above and do a little hiking. I got there at a little before one today and Fin showed up a few minutes later. He said that he and James stayed out until 5:00 am or so (from what he could remember). James was not there yet, so we decided to go get some lunch near Jame’s hostel and keep any eye out for him while filling our pie-holes. But, after eating and waiting until around 2:00 with no sign of him, we decided that we’d head on up the mountain and let James and his liver sleep in for a bit.

On the way up the hill to the gondola, we passed this small, old cemetery. It’s been around since the 1800’s, so there were some very interesting old headstones and information about the people remembered.



Fin and I paid for our gondola ticket and headed up 27,000 feet to the top of the mountain. The moment you sit in the gondola, someone comes by and says “Can I get your picture real quick?”…so they snap a shot (I’m assuming so they can identify your body if the car drops somewhere along its journey to the top) and we were on our way. It was quite a dizzying view looking back down, so I tried to focus on things just around, beside and above us…anything to avoid looking far below us as we swung up to the top.





The view was AMAZING.





It almost didn’t look real. The water was so calm and blue, the mountains were so clean and colorful. It looked like someone had painted it all and was projecting it up on some giant screen, to be turned off once all the tourists went to sleep (and I’m not convinced that it doesn’t really happen that way). You could see the entire city and the variety of lakes branching out in all direction, plus random paragliders wafting down from another mountain above us.



It was also the first time I actually felt weak in the knees from height. Just looking down from the observation area made my legs/knees feel less stable and a bit tingly. So, rather than pitch myself over the glass railing to the scenery below, I decided to kneel and take the rest of my pictures from that position. The view was just so beautiful that I kept taking the same pictures over and over again…thinking I may not have captured it properly the other 45 times.

We decided to hike up a trail that led through the forest above us and ended at the spot where all the paragliders were leaping off of the mountain. The mountain was covered only in fir trees and, although it was a bit dark in the forest, the needle-covered trail was pretty comfortable to walk on. But, looking up the trail still felt a bit creepy…like there could be a pack of hungry wolves or some mythical creature waiting for us somewhere along the path.





Oh…speaking of mythical creatures, Ozzie and Sharon Ozborne were wandering around town shopping yesterday. We didn’t see them, but they did cause quite a stir amongst the locals. Fin and James were really disappointed that they didn’t run into them at some point. They're big fans of he-who-bites-off-bat-heads (where was he when I needed him in Sydney?).

Meanwhile, back on the trail, Fin and I continued up the steep, dark, trail for about another 20 minutes. Every once in a while, we’d hit a patch of sunlight peeking through the dense forest, then it would disappear a few feet later.



At one point, the trail brought us over to the other side of this mountain and opened up to show some of the other mountains behind it. Again, a view that didn’t suck. There were two “tin men” on the slope who appeared to have been enjoying this view for, possibly…ever.



We finally made it up to the top of the hill and, after catching our breath and taking in, yet, another spectacular view of the area, decided to just watch how this whole paragliding thing worked and to see what kind of crazy kids were voluntarily leaping off of a mountain with just a few cords and a giant sheet between them and the forest and lakes far below.

The first “kids” we see are a couple, likely in their 60’s, gearing up with their instructor/co-pilot.

After doing two “practice” runs of instruction that, pretty much, amounted to a “When I say “jog”, jog. When I say, “Run”, Run...the instructor spreads out the parachute…



Then, pulls on it a bit to make sure it’s catching some wind. Yeah, I think that’s probably a good thing to check before you pull this woman off of a mountain…



Then, he tells the woman to come over to the edge of the mountain by him, he clasps a few clips into her harness and, what appeared to be only one or two into his own, then pulls back on the parachute again and it suddenly catches the wind and pulls immediately up into the air. In those few seconds, the guide whips around, grabs the woman and they’re up in the air heading out…her legs flailing around as she attempts to get some kind of balance (and probably hoping that she’s not filling her pants, as I felt I was about to do on the ground a few feet away).



And then they’re gliding out in front of us, swooping up and around ever so gracefully. It’s really quite beautiful to watch and, as terrifying as the whole thing seems to me, I’m pretty jealous.



I want to want to do it. But at this point, I can’t bring myself to take that leap (literally) from the ground over the edge of a mountain, with the ground 27,000 feet below. Fin says he feels the same way and, as much as we’re sure we’ll be considered a little wussy for not just doing it…decide that it’s okay and say “one day” (and on a planet where the ground below us is covered in thick, foamy cotton that would cradle a fall from any height) we might do it. Just not today….or this week….or at any time that there is still open air between the sky and ground…

We headed back down the mountain, passing the “luge” slope that is also available for people to enjoy. Basically, it’s a winding, concrete maze that runs down the side of the mountain to the gondola/gift shop a bit below. We didn’t do that because we were afraid (although, in theory, riding down a slope on a plastic cart sounds scary) or thought it was too dangerous. It really just looked a bit…silly. The “thrilling” trailer they show in the gift shops makes it look like you’re gonna speed down this twisting and turning slope of death.

The reality is that most people didn’t seem to go faster than I could have walked and, at certain points, a few people were almost “Fred Flinstone-ing” their scooters to get them going again, after they just stopped moving in certain areas. However, there was a cute Indian family all scootering close together. They were all having such a good time and I just enjoyed watching the wife, decked out in her customary dress, wearing a helmet and enclosed in this little plastic car, laughing and smiling her way down the slope. You don’t see that on CNN very often.



Fin and I took one last look at the view, then got back on the gondola and made our way down to the ground. As soon as we get off the gondola, you walk right out to a place where they have your picture (from earlier), now printed in 4X6 and 4 “custom” postcards. They basically photoshop you into random scenery…hilarious, badly thrown together and cheesy…so, of course, I had to get a copy. They only give you the regular photo online, so this is all I have. You’ll have to see the “night” shot and “winter” shot in person.



We had a couple beers, then wandered about the water area for a while, chatting and watching the sun starting to fade away.





We got something to eat and were about to head to another bar when we saw James, looking less than peppy, on his way back to his hostel from a quick run out for some Gatorade and instant noodles (a hostel diet staple). He said he didn’t wake up until 4:00 and actually got out of bed around 6:00. He was feeling a bit sluggish, but said he wanted to join us. So, he dropped his noodles (so to speak) into his room and we all headed to a bar. James actually at some beans and toast there and kept it down, so you know what that means….James is feeling better and is now able to drink a “wee” bit more.

We all just sat at the bar, listened to a variety of music, and watched the people. James and Fin were especially watching our bartender, a young gal from Germany. Their favorite parts of that were, pretty much, anything she did….reaching up for a glass…bending down to get a bottle…any hint of direct eye contact. If men could ovulate, the sound that James and Fin’s bodies would be making could be heard around the world (and likely across several solar systems).



So, I told the bartender that they were both leaving tomorrow (which they are) and would she mind if I took a picture of her with them. She was very cool and said “sure”.

I just like to help people in need...it's what I do.

Thanks for hanging out with me boys, I had a great time and am very glad we met. I hope you both have a safe journey to your next destinations and that our paths cross again sometime soon.