Friday, February 26, 2010

Happy Anniversary!

Well, today begins my third year writing VampireHours...which would mean that yesterday was our Two Year Anniversary.

According to tradition, cotton is the appropriate gift.

I doubt that Merriam Webster used that as her offical description in the dictionary.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Lady Coo Coo

It seems that a UK farmer finds Lady Gaga a bit scary, so he has decided to put that to good use...

Nigel Britten, who is the assistant manager at Whelan Farm, near Warlingham, Surrey, was getting fed up with pigeons munching on his wheat crops and had racked his brains to think of a way to save his livelihood. Then inspiration came to him and his fiancee as they watched Lady Gaga arrive at last Tuesday night's Brit Awards. Mr Britten, 27, said: 'We were laughing at Lady GaGa's outfit and that extraordinary wig and talking about how scary she looked.

"My fiancee Marti joked that I should make a scarecrow which looked like her. I laughed and then it occurred to me it was actually a very good idea...And Mr Britten said that so far, the 7ft tall Lady GaGa scarecrow, complete with shocking white wig made from cotton wool and dress, is keeping birds off his wheat crops which are used to grow Hovis bread. And he said that he thinks the effective design should grace many more fields across the UK."

Here is the dress that gave him the inspiration...

I think it would be much more effective if he also installed sound and had the scarecrow say "Rah, Rah, ah ah ah!" every few minutes.

But, that's just me.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Gimme Gimme

Jon Stewart did a piece about consumer spending and the new credit card regulations that went into effect yesterday. As always, he's very informative...and hilarious.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Slice of life

Sometimes I come across things online that, while completely ridiculous, make me laugh out loud. Like this site, simply titled BeaArthurMountainsPizza...

You get exactly what you expect...artistic collages of the great Bea Arthur in the mountains with pizza.

And if you liked'll also enjoy the site TomSelleckWaterfallSandwich...

I hope someone is working on AbeVigodaVolcanoPorkchops...

Monday, February 22, 2010

57 YouTubers - We Are The World

When I think of the message of this song, I think of everyday people coming together from all over the world to make a difference.

These 57 singers from YouTube did an amazing job and, I think, this is a far more affecting version of "We Are The World" than the generic celebrity-laden remake that is out now (and, thankfully, no irritating Wyclef Jean screeching in the background).

What do you think?

(via: Towleroad)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Surreal Life

It's really pretty amazing that so many TV shows and movies are now using green screen effects for simple scenes that you'd just assume were shot on some random location...

It also makes me think about how easy it would be for the media or government to create a fake catastrophe or incident just to convince all of us to do something or to sway our support for a radical decision out of fabricated fear.
Perhaps the manipulated war in "Wag the Dog" isn't really that outlandish of a concept after all...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ship mates

Although I went on the recent Atlantis cruise with my friend Roland, I ended up spending a great deal of time with Matthew (center) and Derek (right), two cousins who decided to take the cruise together.

We all met on the first night and, since we seemed to share the same twisted sense of humor and perverse view of the world, they were stuck with me for the next six days/nights.

Matthew recently sent me copies of the photos he took, which was nice because there were actually some of me in the mix. Since I spend so much time taking photos of scenery and other people on trips, I often get home to find very few photos of me actually in any particular location.

Thankfully, my painfully white skin tone didn't break his camera, so that was a plus for all of us.

We had a lot of fun over the course of the week, whether it was trips to the buffet, sneaking onto the "restricted" front deck of the ship, or attending the various parties that seemed to go on non-stop each night.

I don't know how my large hat got up there...

And, of course, we had "one or two drinks" along the way...

Matthew's camera took photos underwater, so he was able to capture this shot as they attempted to drown me in the pool so they could have a few minutes of peace and quiet during the trip.

But, their plan didn't work and I eventually made it back to the surface again and found them "waiting for me" five floors down and crouched behind a bulkhead on the far end of the ship. It takes more than a few taps on the head with a mallet and a pair of concrete flippers to get rid of me...

But, I admired their sense of adventure.

While I took only one excursion, a casual stroll through Mayan ruins, they focused on activities that would likely give me the trots, but would almost guarantee them a spot on "The Amazing Race" (which I think they'd probably win). They did things like ride a rickety roller coaster down the side of a mountain...

Rent a water Ski-doo and skidoodle all around Labadee...

And... rode all-terrain vehicles over the rivers and through the woods.

So, our excursions were almost identical. Mine included a lunch and theirs always came with the risk of losing theirs.

I also thought I'd post a couple of random photos that Matthew took that I didn't, like this one...

This guy got three stars, so he must really be good at...something.

Also, here is another photo of our friend Joey from the night of the "Enchanted Evening" themed party...

I got several nice comments about his photo when I posted it a few weeks I thought his fans might enjoy one more.

It's always good to keep the fans happy.

One of the best things about traveling through this life is meeting people and making new friends along the way. It really does enhance the experience and creates some wonderful memories that you will carry with you for the rest of your days.

So, I want to thank Matthew and Derek for helping to make my cruise so much more fun than I ever expected it to be.

You guys are great and I look forward to seeing you both again someday soon.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Diesel fueled

Looks like we'll be getting another "Riddick" movie in the near future...

Vin Diesel is going back to the future to topline and produce a third chapter in the "Chronicles of Riddick" franchise, called "Riddick".

Plot details are being kept under wraps. But insiders say the third outing will hew closer in tone to the cult hit "Pitch Black" and will focus on the character of Riddick as opposed to the universe he inhabits, which was the case with the critically panned "Chronicles of Riddick." Still, "Chronicles of Riddick" earned $116 million worldwide and spawned a successful vidgame series.

I really liked "Pitch Black" and, although the sequel wasn't as good as the first, it did look great and featured Dame Judi there's that.

"Starring Vin Diesel and Judi Dench" is not the kind of star-power promo that happens twice in one lifetime.

However, I do enjoy Vin and all his, of course, I'll be there opening weekend.

Who knows which Sir (Patrick Stewart) or Dame (Ian McKellan) might show up in this sequel?

I can't wait to find out...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Phone home

It's lunch-lady Gaga.

Photos have recently begun to surface from the new video shoot for Lady Gaga's "Telephone" song with Beyonce. Judging by these pics, it looks like it's gonna be another very technicolor-Gaga extravaganza.

Lady Gaga also joined Beyonce on her last album and video for the song "Videophone" that came out a couple months ago.

As much as I enjoy each of them, I really didn't care for that song or video. I really think that Lady Gaga has the better song and, I'm guessing, a much more enjoyable video. If you haven't seen Beyonce's video, here it is...

Let's hope that Gaga's upcoming "Telephone" video involves more than each of the gals prancing around in left-over Halloween costumes in a generic studio together.

Oh...and here's a pic of Ms. Gaga at the Brit Awards today...

I guess you can have your cake and wear it too.

Here is her performance that night (she won three awards)...

Monday, February 15, 2010

That's how Sue sees it

I'm going to start watching "Glee" as soon as the new episodes start airing on April 13th. For those of you who already follow the show, here are some of the best clips of coach Sue Sylvester in all her glory.

"Santana, wheels, gay kid, Asian, other Asian, Aretha and Shaft."

And that was Sue being politically correct during a roll-call.

Jane Lynch is hilarious.

How did I miss this show?

Update: FOX has removed all copies of the "Best of Sue Sylvester" video I had to replace the video with a more general "about Sue" promo. I will never understand why a studio makes a point of removing fan-created homages to their shows in the interest of "controlling" their brand. If a fan video is supportive and helps spread the word about their's a win/win for everyone. Some of the studios really need to change with the times and embrace fan support. It can only help increase awareness of their shows. Ass-hats.

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Color Purple

I just saw the new production of this last night here in LA at the Pantages Theater and, I have to tell ya''s a really great show and Fantasia did an amazing job.

She plays the Whoopie Goldberg part (Miss Celie) from the movie, so she doesn't look at all like the image on the poster, above. She looks more like this...

Well, the fancy pants come later in the story...but you get the picture.

If you get the chance to see her in this show while she's in LA (or if this production comes to your town), definitely go.

You won't be disappointed.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Back at me

This Old Spice commercial is pretty funny...especially the last line.

"I'm on a horse."

I also am really enjoying the celebrity-themed Snickers commercials. Here is a new one focused on Divas...

I still love the one with Betty White being tackled...but cranky Liza on a roadtrip is entertaining too.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Oh Lady MAC

A fan has created a special Lady Gaga doll based on her recent glamorous Grammy appearance...

There really are some crafty Gaga fans out there with sewing machines.

Also, Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper appeared on "Good Morning America" to promote their MAC Cosmetics AIDS Fund campaign which, so far, has raised over $150 million.

Very cool gals.

Lady Gaga actually seems like the child that Cyndi Lauper would have had back in the "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" days.

(via - JoeMyGod)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Live from St. Olaf

I just read that there is a Facebook campaign that is focused on convincing "Saturday Night Live" to let Betty White host. I hope it's works because I think she'd be hilarious (especially compared to some of the lame hosts they've had on the past couple of years).

I'd like to see her play the Target Lady's grandmother...the two of them together might even be better than "Claaaassic Peg".

Go Betty, go!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Betty and Abe

Being the avid sports fan that I am (not), I actually went to a bar and watched the Super Bowl with my friend Pat yesterday and, although I'm still not sure who was playing (I was rooting for the blue shirts cause I like blue, but I think the gold pants won), I did get to see the best commercial ever.

Snickers created a hilarious ad with two of my favorite people...Betty White and Abe Vigoda.


I bet that Betty didn't even use a stunt double.

She's a pro.

I also enjoyed this Motorola commercial with Megan Fox. Not because she's in it...but because I always enjoy watching people slap each other.

"Timmy...what are you doing?!"

If you want to see some of the other funny commercials from the game...check them out over at JoeMyGod by clicking here.

Friday, February 5, 2010


I saw this on Post Secret and thought it was funny...

That would be one tight turban.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Carried Away

Comedian Mark Malkoff decided to prove that there are actually some nice New Yorkers living in the city by attempting to get total strangers to carry him up the entire 13.5 mile length of Manhattan. Surprisingly, he was successful and met some very interesting people along the way...

Here in LA, I can't even get someone to carry my groceries out to the car.

Of course, nobody walks in that might explain why.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Still lost...

I believe that my review of last night's season premiere of "Lost" could be best expressed by a monologue from the Academy Award-winning actress Eileen Brennan as Mrs. Peacock in the 1985 movie "Clue"...

"I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here. Or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself. And I'm very intrigued, and, oh my, this soup's delicious, isn't it?"

Hopefully they'll manage to pull it all together before the last episode...because last night's "event" was a jumbled mess.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

2010 Oscar Nominations

The Oscar nominations were announced this morning and Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci each have reason to celebrate.

This is Meryl's 16th nomination, which gives her the most of any actor and Stanley (her co-star in "Julie and Julia" and "The Devil Wears Prada") also got a nomination for his performance in "The Lovely Bones" (which I still have to see).

I'm a little disappointed that "Star Trek" didn't get more nominations other than the usual Sci-Fi nods for makeup, sound and visual effects. At least it wasn't completely, I guess I can live with that.

It will also be interesting to see how the "Best Director" category turns out, since James Cameron and his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow (nominated for her film "The Hurt Locker"), are up against each other.

March 7th could be a vewwwwwy interesting night indeed.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Bleached Blanket Bingo

The final big dance party on the ship was the White Party where everyone, as you might have guessed, was encouraged to dress in...white.

The Atlantis team really goes all out for these parties. They even have special lighting and audio teams that come onboard just to create specific moods and sound for each event. They really do a great job.

And, of course, the kids had their costumes pressed and ready to go.

In the rush to get ready, it appears that one of these fellows forgot to put on his underwear...

While some people only wore underwear, so that makes packing a breeze.

Like our friend Matthew and his glowing...personality.

Sports themes seemed to be popular too. But, how do you pack a football helmet and still have room for a vodka bottle in your luggage?

Roland had a pow-wow with a couple of pale-faces.

And, with that many guys onboard, there was certainly no shortage of

Lola Falana found some feathers and a hat for the occasion.

And her background singers/dancers did their best to upstage her.

Lady Gaga even stopped by with her po-po-po poker face.

Cheech and Chong stepped up their wardrobe a bit too.

There were cowboys...

An ice queen...

A prom queen.

The Gabor sisters.

It twirled up!

Although I'm not certain who took the last piece of pie at the buffet, I'm pretty sure it was probably one of these Mrs. Whites, with a knife, in the observatory.

Or these little devils.

Overall, a good time was certainly had by all.

It was probably the only time any of these guys on the ship wore white after Labor Day.