After only dating Jersey Shore's Snooki for a few weeks, her new boyfriend, Jeff Miranda, thinks that she's THE ONE and has decided to subtly pop the question ...on a magazine cover.
"I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She's so loving and puts everyone else before herself. She'll be a great mother. I love her and want to be with her. I will never break her heart. She's such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we're a match made in heaven. People think I'm using her for fame. But that's bullshit.”
Although his ex-girlfriend has a restraining order out on him for allegedly pointing a gun at her, I'm sure that won't get in the way of their blossoming love affair.
Plus, he's right...Snooki always "puts everyone else before herself".
She's allowing these nice police officers to lead her to their car after her own arrest recently.
A new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that — for reasons that aren't entirely clear — abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one's risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers' mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.
Of course, drunk people are more prone to falling down and injuring themselves or walking out in front of a bus...so I'm not really sure that this report is the definitive case study to rely on to decide whether having "one more drink" is the wisest choice.
Here are a few examples of some folks who obviously weren't part of the study done for the research...
This video shows that drinking and exercise don't really mix very well.
After the 39 second mark, watch as this guy sadly attempts to keep upright as he battles with the cooler doors at a little market.
This guy runs into more than trouble at the Police Station after being brought in for a DUI.
And this guy appears to be having a "little" difficulty navigating his way up a slight hill.
Oh...the drunk kids and their equilibrium-challenged hijinks.
Dancing With the Stars has become the Love Boat of this new TV generation. The producers are really stretching the limits of the term "Star", but it doesn't seem to matter. Each new season continues serving up a big steaming Pu Pu Platter of Pop Culture pioneers for audiences to shove in their optic pie-holes.
The new cast won't be officially announced until August 30th, but word on the Internets is that these folks have already signed or are in the process of signing on for Season 11...
David Hasselhoff is already having fittings for potential gown options.
Kirstie Alley (seen here meeting with her agent) should thank Xenu that someone is even considering her for another gig after that God-awful Big Life series she did last year.
Bristol Palin is probably joining the show just to make Levi Johnston jealous and to distract from his run (and "reality"-TV show focus) for Mayor of Wasilla.
Florence Henderson has started personally interviewing dance partners.
And Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is getting in shape for his turn on the floor by eating lots and lots of AbCakes.
I've still got my fingers crossed that, when we hear the complete list of "stars" in a couple weeks, this name is dropped in at the last minute...
Of course, he's an entirely different "situation" altogether.
As one of the world’s most successful and critically-acclaimed British female artists in pop music history, Ms. Lennox will release her brand new album, “A Christmas Cornucopia,” on November 22nd through Island Records UK and Decca Records in the US and the rest of the world.
The album features Ms. Lennox’s unique and personal interpretations of some of her favorite Christmas carols as well as a completely new, and wonderful, original composition entitled, “Universal Child.”
I do love me some Annie Lennox, so I can't wait for this to come out.
Chelsea Handler, who just announced tonight on her E! talk show that she’s hosting the Sept. 12 event, should provide plenty of morning-after quotables for the blogosphere. So why did MTV choose her? “This has been a huge year for hip-hop and rap, and it is well-known that I have the closest ties with these communities — musically and sexually,”
I can't wait to see that...she is one of the funniest women on TV these days. Plus, for anyone who didn't already know, she's now dating animal trainer, Dave Salmoni.
Evidently Teri Hatcher is desperate to distill those pesky rumors about having plastic surgery or botox, so she posted a couple of photos on Facebook to make her point:
Pissed at the people who say she's had plastic surgery, Teri Hatcher took to Facebook with a photo album called "Oy with the Botox!!!" featuring photos of herself dripping wet and furrowing her brow: "Out of the bath getting ready for bed. Thought about all those damn critics of my face. Love it or hate it, my face that is, no surgery, no implants, no matter what 'they' say. Decided I'd shoot myself in to reveal some truths about 'beauty' and hope it makes you all easier on yourself.
I'm not sure that these photos prove anything (I don't see any lines around her surprisingly smooth mouth or eyes) in the grand scheme of things...
Because Desperate Housewives is still a freak show with or without the enhancements.
And what's a freak show without clowns? Just listen to impressionist Carly Sakolove's Diva-studded version of Send in the Clowns. She creates a very eclectic gathering of Broadway singers like Bernadette Peters, Liza, Patti Lupone, Julie Andrews and (my favorite)...Elaine Stritch.
When "Elaine" first came in and sang "Send in the Clowns" I almost shot orange juice out of my nose from laughing.
Jane Lynch unveiled her very own Madame Tussauds wax figure in Hollywood on August 4. The figure, portraying Lynch as her character Sue Sylvester on the hit show Glee, responded by unleashing a wave of venom and triumph across the state of California.
I also read that Jane Lynch will be hosting an episode of Saturday Night Live in the fall.
Lorene Yarnell, who with Robert Shields formed the mime-and-dance comedy team Shields and Yarnell, a familiar presence on television in the 1970s, died on July 29 after suffering a brain aneurysm at her home in Sandefjord, Norway. She was 66.
With Mr. Shields, her husband at the time, Ms. Yarnell starred in the variety show “Shields and Yarnell,” broadcast on CBS in 1977 and 1978. She had originally trained as a dancer, he as a mime; after meeting in the early 1970s, each learned the other’s art. Together they developed a style that was an amalgam of the two.
I really used to enjoy their show (Robert Shields...very sponge-worthy), especially when they played the robotic couple "The Clinkers".
I remember how several of my friends and I would impersonate the Clinkers at school back in the day. Of course, it only managed to solidify our nerd/geek status amongst the cool kids.
You just get used to wedgies after a while...
I also remember getting this issue of Dynamite Magazine (which I subscribed to in my small Ohio town for all the cool TV news and the potential of a Brooke Shields or Wonder Woman article) and being excited because Ms. Yarnell had also just guest-starred on an episode of Wonder Woman playing Formicida, the Ant Queen.
Academy-Award winning actress Patricia Neal, whose off-screen life was one of dramatic triumph over adversity, died Sunday at her home in Edgartown, Massachusetts. She was 84.
Neal is best known for her role as Alma in "Hud," where she played a housekeeper who did not fall for cowboy Paul Newman's charms. She won an Academy Award for the role.
Neal also won a Golden Globe award for her performance as Olivia Walton in 1971's "The Homecoming: A Christmas Story," the television movie that served as the pilot episode for the TV series "The Waltons." Concerns over Neal's health and her ability to handle the difficulties of a weekly television series led the producers to offer the role to Michael Learned when the show when into production.
My dear friend Maggie moved back east to Tennessee last year and I miss her terribly (you might remember her from my visit to historic Jonesborough and Abingdon, VA.).
But, she's found her happy place there and, for whatever reason, doesn't seem to miss the traffic and chaos of Los Angeles one bit. So, I'm very happy for her.
While there, she has become an integral part of a group called the Haunt Masters Club. Here is a bit of info on them:
Maggie and another member of her team, John, were interviewed recently on their local news show, Daytime Tri-Cities, about what they do and how they handle the variety of unusual cases that come their way. They're kinda like the Scooby Gang of Ghostbusters. I'll let them explain it...
The Daytime Tri-Cities setting and the host remind me a lot of the fictitious Pawnee Today local news show on Parks and Recreation.