From the makers of last week's "Shame Map" of the U.S., here is their version of what's awesome about each state and, interestingly...the shame issue also appears to create awesomeness in some states.
For example:
North Dakota: The ugliest people (shame) make great employees (awesome).
Maine: Stupid people (shame) don't know how to use weapons (awesome).
Utah: Porn addicts (shame) are the most content and relaxed people (awesome).
At least I now know when to run to the bathroom if I go see 127 Hours in the theater.
theShiznet site created some hilarious "this-is-what-you-should-really-expect" versions of the posters for the Top Ten films nominated for Academy Awards this year.
Here are a couple more:
Winter's Bone
Toy Story 3
Love and Other Drugs
If more studios stuck to this format, it would certainly make choosing a movie to see SO much easier.
You can check out the other six posters on their site by clicking here.
Who would have thought a movie about the ballet could be so unsettling?
Not me.
I saw Black Swan this week and can't remember another movie where I was so viscerally uncomfortable throughout a film. You spend most of the time trying to figure out what is real and what isn't. I'm still not entirely sure what happened and haven't decided whether I liked it or not, but I doubt I'll be watching again for a very long time.
The thing that bothered me most was the gross stuff. Natalie's character has a history of scratching herself until she bleeds, so the film packs in several scenes of her with bloody fingernails or toenails, or cutting her fingernails uncomfortably close (more blood), or picking at or peeling back lacerations on her skin and fingers.
*Heeker*
Plus, every character in the movie (especially Barbara Hershey) is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and that's pretty much how I felt once it was over.
However, there are some pretty amazing, yet subtle, visual effects in the movie that fascinate me. Here is a look at how and why some of them were done...
If you see Black Swan, I suggest you go in with an empty stomach.
In 1951 Jack started his own TV exercise show - the first fitness program ever televised, actually - that ended up running for 34 years. When it first aired, critics gave it 6 weeks tops. He even had to buy air time, because the studio didn't believe anyone would watch an exercise show.
Jack's choice of using soothing Wurlitzer music to workout to is an interesting one. Lady Gaga and Beyonce really should consider incorporating it into their new dance tracks to keep people motivated on the treadmill while listening to their music at the gym.
He also enjoyed wearing ballet slippers while exercising...
In those days tennis shoes were not popular, and only used to play tennis in…Most show business people and Hand Balancers wore ballet slippers, and Jack being a Hand Balancer, that was what he wore!
As a child he was a self-proclaimed sugarholic (I can identify with that)...
He blamed his bad diet for attacking his brother with an axe and setting the family house on fire. At 15, his mother took him to see a talk by nutritionist Paul Bragg, and Jack reformed his eating habit and became interested in fitness.
I can't identify with THAT, but I do get cranky if my giant Hershey bar is broken into pieces when I unwrap it.
Jack could do 1,033 push-ups. In 23 minutes. At the age of 42.
I could eat a bag of Doritos and record two TV shows at once on my DVR at the age of 42.
He also opened the first gym...
Jack LaLanne opened the country's first modern health club in Oakland, California, in 1936 at the tender age of 21. He worked with a blacksmith to create many of the weight machines that you see in your neighborhood gym today.
His line of health clubs eventually became Bally's Total Fitness.
He also didn't think people should warm-up before working out. The idea of that really seemed to chap his...leg-warmers.
"Now, you listen to some of these so-called sports-medicine experts today--shit! It's just shtick. It's just something else to sell. Warming up," he scoffed, adjusting a red ascot fitted neatly into his jumpsuit, "warming up is the biggest bunch of horseshit I've ever heard in my life. Fifteen minutes to warm up! Does a lion warm up when he's hungry? 'Uh-oh, here comes an antelope. Better warm up.' No! He just goes out and eats the sucker. You gotta get the blood circulating, but shit, does the lion cool down? No, he eats the sucker and goes to sleep. And that," he concluded, folding his arms into a variation of the pose, "is the truth."
Warming-up really does seem to make sense. Of course, he lived to be 96...so what do I know?
He also made a bazillion dollars selling his line of Power Juicers on TV.
I call people who get drunk very quickly "Power-Juicers".
I'm glad that Parks and Recreation is finally back on the air. Funny or Die did a hilarious promo for the new season that features Rob Lowe throwing an extremely profane fit in front of the cast after finding out that they hadn't actually been on the air for the past five months.
The first official picture of Andrew Garfield (replacing Toby McGuire) from the new Spider-Man movie was released recently. The change of casting doesn't really seem to be that big of a deal to me, since Spidey is covered from head-to-toe for most of the film anyway.
Toby is probably happy to be able to gorge on pizza and beer without having to worry about squeezing into those unforgiving red Spanx again.
In another bit of recasting news, it was announced today that Australian actor Liam McIntyre has been officially cast to replace lead Andy Whitfield (who is being treated for a second round of cancer) in the second season of STARZ popular series Spartacus: Blood and Sand.
They do look a bit similar and it will have been two years since the first season aired by the time the second season rolls around next year. So, that may work in the network's favor.
However, replacing a lead actor in any show is a risk, especially when the role comes with some very specific physical requirements.
My friend Maggie sent me a link to this hilarious site called Nasty Cute, which is all about "The nastiest thoughts of the cutest animals." Like, this entry from the cute puppy above...
“You never think about how much heavier a body is than a bone. It makes sense, I guess - a body is hundreds of bones…. Plus the guts and flesh and everything else…the shoes. I should have taken off the shoes, but I was in such a rush…I didn’t know what I was doing. If I had it to do over, I’d remove the shoes…and close the eyes. I can still feel them…watching me do…what I did."
And that's just the beginning of that story. There are also entries from a cute Duck, Koala Bear, Mouse, and a fluffy Kitten.
It's like Deep Thoughts, if Jack Handy was a demented animal.
Click here to read what your pets are really thinking...
