Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Oh, flock!



Dusseldorf, we have a problem...

‘It was like a scene from the Hitchcock movie The Birds. One second all was clear, and the next thing you saw were these birds swarming over the plane,’ said an onlooker.

It is thought more than 200 starlings were sucked into the right engine as the Boeing jet approached 200mph. Others dented the fuselage but thankfully did not pierce it. Their splattered remains could be seen on the plane later.

I bet a lot of people were plotzing in their lederhosen on that flight.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

King of the crap

There are a bazillion videos available online these days. Most are less than exciting, but here is one featuring hightlights of the Top 100 greatest hits from YouTube.



I think I've seen about 80 percent of them...

Not sure whether I should be proud of that or not.

Monday, September 28, 2009

No-Hurl Zone



If you're out binge drinking in Chicago, you might want to carry a little extra money around with you before attempting to make your way home in a taxi...

The drivers want to charge a $50 “clean-up fee” for inebriated passengers who lose their lunch in the back of the cab.

“If somebody throws up in the back of a cab, it’s no laughing matter to that cabdriver, who now has to take a couple of hours to detail the cab. It’s hard to get that smell out if you’ve ever experienced anything like that.”

I don't think that's unreasonable.

However, I also think they should offer passengers a 50% discount if the overwhelming smell of Drakkar Noir or B.O. inside the cab is determined to be the sole reason for the intestinal outburst.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Put your hands up

I've heard a lot of good feedback on the new TV show "Glee", but haven't added it to my DVR list yet. After watching this video clip yesterday, I think I may have to check it out...



It looks like it might be a fun smile-worthy show.

You can never have too many of those.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Mental Floss



It looks like Dwayne Johnson has a new movie coming out next year for Disney (of course) where he gets wrangled into taking over for the Tooth Fairy for a week.

I hope they let the public know what week that will be...

I'll need time to get a pair of plyers and some fresh bed linens ready.

Hopefully it'll be at least as entertaining as this Stuart "MadTV" sketch with Susan Sarandon as the infamous dental damsel.



Stuart slays me.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Drugs suck



Obviously, there was a lot more to the story back then...

Actress Mackenzie Phillips reveals she had a long-term incestuous relationship with her famous father, musician John Philips, in a tell-all memoir.

"On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it," writes Phillips, who was 19 at the time and a heavy drug user, according to People.com. "I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad's bed."

Phillips, best known as Julie Cooper on the sitcom "One Day at a Time," says the sexual relationship became consensual as her life began to spiral out of control.

This poor girl has had a really rough life.

Sad.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It's Underdog!

Here she comes to save the DAAAAAYYYY!



It's as if all the fans of the show shined a spotlight with a MP logo into the sky and now our blond super-heroine has swooped in for the rescue. Yes, Amanda Woodward is moving back in to Melrose Place. Locklear will make her first appearance at her old address on November 17.

I never watched the show in the past and have certainly not changed my status for the updated version that arrived on the airwaves last year.

But, if anyone can give "Melrose Place" a zippidy in their doodah ratings...it's Heather.

Miss Locklear, if you're nasty.

Monday, September 21, 2009

2009 Emmy Awards



“It’s my job to make things go smoothly. Here’s hoping Kanye West likes ‘30 Rock.” - Neil Patrick Harris

I thought the awards ceremony was very entertaining last night. The set looked amazing and Neil Patrick Harris did a fine job as the host. I enjoy his comedic timing and his subtle quips when sketches didn't seem to go very well.

There were also some very funny quotes throughout the night...



"I'm unemployed now, so I'd like to be on 'Mad Men. I also like 'The Office' and '24. "
- Kristin Chenoweth after winning for her now-cancelled show "Pushing Daisys".


“The thing about the Oscars and the Golden Globes, they’ve got film stars with their jaw lines and good looks, making me feel bad, but in this room… I’m probably above average. Yeah, definitely. Here, Steve Carrell is considered handsome. But Rainn Wilson, we’ve got to be honest, he’s weird, even here.”
- Ricky Gervais

"I used to think that awards were just shallow tokens of momentary popularity, but now I realize they are the only true measure of a person's real worth as a human being."
- Jon Cryer after winner for Best Supporting Actor in "Two and a Half Men".



"We want to thank our friends at NBC ... for keeping us on the air, even though we are so much more expensive than a talk show."
- Tina Fey after "30 Rock" won Best Comedy Series

“I’d trade this to look like him, I’ll be honest with you. No...I wouldn’t. Actually, yes, I would.”
- Alec Baldwin referencing Rob Lowe who presented him with his Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series award for "30 Rock"

And speaking of "30 Rock"...



I love that show.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Mummy Dearest

A regular reader, knowing my fascination with creepy dolls in museums, sent me a link to a site called VillageofJoy.com. From the name, you'd think it would be a happy place with butterflies, fairies, and words of wisdom to get you through the day.

What you wouldn't expect to find there would be these...





Evidently, the gal who runs the site also likes making and selling mummified dolls.

So the next time your kid misbehaves, try buying one of these dolls as a present for his birthday.

I like the way she thinks.

However, I don't ever want one of her dolls in my house.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Kate Is Enough

Kathy Griffin was on "Jimmy Kimmel" last week to talk about her book and to promote her new movie on Lifetime...



She actually looks pretty good with that haircut.

Plus, now that George Takei and his husband are going to be on the new "Newlywed Game", it's just good to see that he's branching out past Sulu and into leading man parts.

Lifetime: The place for lady drama.

Hilarious!

Kathy will also be appearing on "The View" tomorrow, which should be very interesting considering how much smack she talks about Barbara Walters and the fact that Kate Gosselin is currently on the View panel now (replacing Elisabeth Hasselcrack while she's off giving birth to another child who will need lots of therapy) . I wonder if Kate will chat with Kathy about playing her in the video above?

PLUS, Kathy can be seen hosting the "Creative Emmy Awards" (or the "Schmemmys" as she calls them) ceremony on E! tomorrow afternoon.



On a somber note, I was sad to hear that Henry Gibson passed away. I loved him on "Laugh In" and, most recently as the hilariously cantankerous Judge Brown on "Boston Legal".



I really miss that show and will certainly miss Henry.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Definitely tucked



Look out, Lady Gaga!

Mario Lopez told the press last year that he was focusing on his career and would be trying to avoid having photos taken of himself with with his shirt off so frequently. Apparently, some goals are much harder to achieve than others.

And that's...okay.

Courtesy of PopBytes, the lingerie photo above is from his upcoming appearance on the new season of "Nip/Tuck", where he returns as plastic surgeon Dr. Mike. Just how does a busy "doctor" find time to stay in Victoria's Secret-shape?



By competeing in triathalons, of course.

Last week, Mario dusted off his Epilady Lady B and then competed in the 2009 Nautica Malibu Triathalon to raise money for the Childrens Hospital of Los Angeles.



I admire anyone who can train hard enough to make it through one of those crazy run/bike/climb/swim competitions, so Mario has my respect and appreciation for all did to accomplish this very challenging goal.



If taking his clothes off a few hundred more times will keep him in top shape, while helping children all over the world...

Then, I really think we should all allow him to be as naked as he needs to be to accomplish those goals.

It just feels right.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Patrick Swayze



Very sad news...

Patrick Swayze, whose good looks and sympathetic performances in films such as "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost" made him a romantic idol to millions, died Monday. He was 57.

Although, I did enjoy him in "Ghost" (one of my all-time favorite movies) and "Dirty Dancing", I also really liked him in "The Outsiders", "To Wong Foo: Thanks for everything! Julie Newmar", and "Red Dawn". If nothing else, his movies were usually entertaining and fun.



Nothing wrong with a legacy like that at all.

He will be missed.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye Pest

I didn't see the MTV Video Music Awards last night, but all the kids were talking about it today on the Interbots. Seems that Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech so that he could tell people that he thought that Beyonce had the best video of all time...



Kanye = Asshat.

The look on Taylor's face after he leaves...she looks crushed, embarrassed and just walks off. Poor thing...

Thankfully, Beyonce allowed Taylor to come out and give her full speech, rather than doing her own for an award she had just won.



Beyonce is a class act and I'm very thankful that she didn't wear Lady Gaga's face-wreath last night.

Since the award show is broadcast internationally, word spread quickly and, when Hitler found out about what Kanye did, well...he couldn't contain himself.



I think he pretty much said it all.

I had almost forgotten that President Obmama had a similar problem with Kanye last week during his healthcare speech...



Kanye is lucky that he was already booked to be on the premiere of Jay Leno's new show tonight.

Jay Leno couldn't have planned a better ratings-windfall to get people to watch tonight.

Or did he?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Here come the judge

I have really missed watching new episodes of the "Ellen Degeneres Show" over the summer. So, I was very excited to see the premiere of her seventh season on Tuesday.



Besides having David Beckham on to discuss underwear, she also boogied with the top ten dancers from "So You Think You Can Dance".

And she didn't just do her usual audience shuffle....she brought it!



White girl can dance!

So, besides having my daily dose of her humor and positive vibe back on schedule, it was also announced today that Ellen would be replacing Paula Abdul as a judge on the new season of "American Idol", starting in January.

I'll let her tell you all about it (run your mouse over the image to get the "play" arrow)...











Now, after years of avoiding the Idol madness, I may actually have to start watching the show again to see how she does.

Devil!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Read it, Jesus!



Kathy Griffin's new book, "Official Book Club Selection" just came out (I got my copy from Amazon yesterday) and she's out there doing what she does best...mingling with the media.

She went on CNN to discuss the book and candidly spoke about, among other things, her crack-addicted brother who died in her mother's arms, Obama's speech to the school children, and a botched liposuction job (with a "lovely" photo).



Regarding all the people who were upset about Obama speaking to the school kids..

"I think people are stupid and crazy. And, by the way, they are going to resort to guns and religion, just as he said, and he never should have apologized for that, because it's true. Read a history book."

I. Love. Her.

This should be a very entertaining read.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

School Daze

Well, the world can give a collective sigh of relief now that the President has spoken to the children. As far as I can tell, the country is still in one piece and no swastikas were flashed during the course of his "controversial" speech to kids suggesting that they should simply study, stay in school and be responsible for their lives and the lives of the people and world around them.

WHEW!

I hope that all the folks who were initially against the very idea of this speech are enjoying a nice piece of humble pie (with ice cream) today.

Ass-hats.



Friday, September 4, 2009

In a perfect world...



We would all have a tranquil view from our front yard, like this shot from my friend Greg's sister in Ohio.

I miss fall.

And, this would be the only kind of crime we would have to worry about on a daily basis (taken from the homepage of my Ohio hometown's Web site):

TIPP CITY— Anyone who’s missing a door mat is welcome to see if it’s included in a collection now on display at the Tipp City Police Department.

Police said Thursday, Aug. 20, that they recovered nearly 100 door mats that were found on the lawn of a house in the Hampton Woods subdivision about 10 p.m. Wednesday. Mats were taken from several homes in that subdivision, along with Spring Hill, Cotton Wood and Sycamore Woods, police said.

Residents who are missing mats are asked to come to the police department between 8 a.m. and 11 p.m. at 260 S. Garber Drive, or call 667-3112. Owners will need to provide an ID for the incident report. The department will dispose of mats that are not claimed within 30 days.

If only...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

K-Feed



When you are the ex-husband of Britney Spears (Kevin Federline) and receive a sizeable spousal support check from your ex-wife ($20,000 a month until death or remarriage) and don't have to work, you really have no excuse for not finding a little time during the week to get to the gym or take a nice long walk around the mansion.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I saw this recent set of photos of K-Fed on PinkIsTheNewBlog...



I have a feeling that the photographer was hired by Britney to confirm that Kevin was actually watching the children and not eating them.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Green Day



It seems that the new "Green Lantern" movie, starring Ryan Reynolds, is running into a little bit of a budget issue over in Australia...

Warner Bros. is understood to be negotiating with the [New South Wales] State Government to receive a higher level of concessions in an effort to claw back between $15 and $25 million in value eroded by the currency gains.

The value of the Australian dollar has climbed by more than 16 per cent since the State Labor government announced the deal to film at Fox Studios in mid-April. The big-budget Hollywood blockbuster was expected to create around 500 local jobs, including 100 performers and 200 crew.

If they have to cut costs, I suppose they could always give Ryan a smaller costume.

I don't think anyone would really mind.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What'cha thinkin'?

I always enjoy visiting PostSecret...





It just goes to show that you never know what people are really thinking.