Super Mario

Maybe it's the 111 degree heat AGAIN today, but after I poured myself out of the car, got the mail and went into the house....I noticed something that took my mind off of the awfulness outside.



The cover of the new People magazine and the header "Mario Lopez Bares All".

Hmmm...I needed some inspiration and was certain that it was a humanitarian story of his struggle making it as a latino actor in the model-eat-model city of Los Angeles.

I was right...



The story begins with his challenging upbringing on a deserted island with Brooke Shields.

After swimming for 3 weeks in the open sea, he managed to be rescued by a Monk in a passing boat and brought to the U.S.







It described his days as an assistant stylist to the stars...



Then working as Richard Gere's stunt double in "American Gigolo" to pay the bills....



Then, his life in Vegas working at Cesar's Palace as a gladiator greeter to the masses...



To better days as a Corona spokesperson.

It was really inspiring, I have to tell you.

Now, if he would only just work out a little bit, get some facial reconstruction surgery and a new set of teeth....

I really think he could make it.



It's all about what's INSIDE that counts and, with his average looks and body, I have a feeling he has a lot going on inside.

Update: Photobucket deleted my original top photo of Mario in the famous Burt Reynolds pose on the rug (his naughty bits were covered). Me thinks they are a tad bit too quick to decide what is inappropriate...

Rated M

Nice...wrenches.

Mario Lopez has reached down deep into his bulging talent pool and launched his own line of underwear...

The season three runner-up of "Dancing with the Stars" is promoting his new line of underwear, Rated M, which is officially launching on Thursday, December 1. The 38-year-old told Extra! that the "M" in his label "stands for masculine, modern, Mario... make it whatever you want it to be."



One photo of Mario wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs made its way out via E! Online, which mentions that his undies' waistband reads, "For manful men and their very special guests."



Well, I'm sure he'd definitely get some "very special guests" if this line includes his outfit from Nip/Tuck:



I'm sure "Manful Men" all over the world will soon be showcasing that look for the holidays and various sporting events.

Here is some oddly dialog-free behind-the-scenes footage of his photo shoot...

Definitely tucked

Look out, Lady Gaga!

Mario Lopez told the press last year that he was focusing on his career and would be trying to avoid having photos taken of himself with with his shirt off so frequently. Apparently, some goals are much harder to achieve than others.

And that's...okay.

Courtesy of PopBytes, the lingerie photo above is from his upcoming appearance on the new season of "Nip/Tuck", where he returns as plastic surgeon Dr. Mike. Just how does a busy "doctor" find time to stay in Victoria's Secret-shape?



By competeing in triathalons, of course.

Last week, Mario dusted off his Epilady Lady B and then competed in the 2009 Nautica Malibu Triathalon to raise money for the Childrens Hospital of Los Angeles.



I admire anyone who can train hard enough to make it through one of those crazy run/bike/climb/swim competitions, so Mario has my respect and appreciation for all did to accomplish this very challenging goal.



If taking his clothes off a few hundred more times will keep him in top shape, while helping children all over the world...

Then, I really think we should all allow him to be as naked as he needs to be to accomplish those goals.

It just feels right.

Busted

The latin Ryan Seacrest, Mario Lopez, seems to have found a new way into the hearts and clogged arteries of world by allowing Dove to sculpt his heaving bosoms out of chocolate for their recent "Mint and Dark Chocolate Candies" promotion.



The "frosty" head is somewhat creepy and the overall bust looks like it should be guarding some sacred temple out on Easter Island (or Fire Island, for that matter).

But, as far as the overall likeness to Mario...



I suppose we can all look past the minty Ted Danson eyebrows and hair and support Dove for the greater good.

And for the children.

If you'd like to recreate a similar chocolate lover of your own for a lonely weekend or as a date to an upcoming wedding or family reunion...here is how Dove did it:

Oh, I couldn't

Mario Lopez looks completely caught off-guard, shocked, and totally surprised that Ellen wants him to show off his new underwear line on her show. He's so lucky that he just happened to be wearing a pair of his branded underwear and thought to put body makeup on before her show.

This was totally planned...



And I'm totally okay with it.

A King's Farewell

Larry King airs his last regular Larry King Live episode tonight after 25 years on the show...

After 25 years, Larry King's record-breaking run as CNN's prime-time, talk-show host ends Thursday night with a grand finale staffers are calling "Larrypalooza."

Led by friend and protégé Ryan Seacrest, a star-studded collection of guests will pay tribute. King will say his goodbyes. And then the set, with its horseshoe-shaped desk and familiar backdrop of multicolored dots, will fade to black.

"It's sad," King said, "but there's a time to go. You know when it's time."

I'm planning to record it tonight, even through Ryan Seacrest is hosting the finale tribute before he takes over Larry's show next year. Honestly, must Ryan host everything these days? I'm sure Mario Lopez was available.



I have watched Larry interview a variety of people over the years, but mostly just tuned in when he had Kathy Griffin on because she was always about five steps ahead of him during any interview and he just sat there like a deer caught in headlights.

I doubt we'll see Kathy making any appearances on Ryan's version of the show. They don't quite get along as well as she and Larry do.

Of course, of all the times he appeared live over the years, this is still my favorite moment ever.



Now that's an up-doo!

Manscaping

I guess if girls can grace fashion magazine covers wearing very little...so can the boys.

Bruce Willis and his new bride are on the cover of "W" magazine and have done a risque S&M-themed layout inside for all to see. He's certainly in amazing shape and, I suppose, if faux-humping his bride is the way he wants to introduce her to the world...then have at it.

Sometimes a simple wedding image just isn't enough to fully express your newfound love.



Also, GQ has just started promoting their first nude cover and, of all the people they could have chosen...Sasha Baron Cohen's cheekage won the slot (so to speak).

I guess Mario Lopez, LL Cool J and Abe Vigoda were busy.

Maybe having his crack in Eminem's face at the Grammy's wasn't considered enough publicity for his upcoming movie.

Sometimes you just have to bare it all to lure people into the theaters these days.

I blame Sharon Stone.

That's HOT

This visual just might explain why it's so #%##@!! hot here today. It was 106 degrees today when I got out of my car....

ONE HUNDRED AND SIX!

What a world....I'm melting...I'm melting....



Focusing on a different kind of heat, it appears that Mario Lopez has recreated his own version of a famous Marky Mark ad for Calvin Klein underwear. I don't like to choose favorites, so I'll just wait until they have the hot oil wrestle-off, then make my decision.

Have I mentioned it's hot today?



Seems to be some heat in this kitchen too. I read this article today on JoeMyGod about the new Heinz ad that begins airing in the UK soon.

Heinz is set to challenge some viewer expectations with a light-hearted TV campaign that features two men sharing a kiss. The TV commercial, which promotes a new range of dressing called Heinz Deli Mayo, breaks tonight and will be supported by a press campaign. Heinz' new ad opens with a family on a normal morning routine with a young boy and girl getting ready for school and their father preparing for the office.

All I could think about while watching this commercial, besides how cute it is, was how lucky those kids are to have someone to make them a sandwich and wish them a good day.

I really need to learn to cook...or win the lottery so that I can hire a full-time chef.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my usual Fruity Pebbles and Cap'n Crunch...but having a meal with actual nutritional value once in a while, would be a nice change for me and my digestive system.

And finally, wrapping up my "Mabel, is the heat on?" entry, check out this clip of Olivia Newton-John singing "Burn, Baby, Burn" from the upcoming LOGO TV series "Sordid Lives: The Series" that starts airing next month. It looks pretty funny and has many of the original cast members from the movie, including my favorite, Leslie "Beverly Leslie" Jordan.



She looks great (can you believe she's 59?!) and still has one of the best singing voices around.

Of course, she sang "Xanadu"...so she'll always hold a special place in my heart.



Xanadu....uuuuuu....UUUUUU!