Friday, October 10, 2008

TGIF indeed

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to....



Touchdown Jesus!

As my dad and I were driving back from visiting two of the gambling boats on the borders of Indiana and Kentucky (gambling is allowed as long as the casino is "on water"...hilarious), he said "There's Touchdown Jesus" and, lo and behold....he was right.

I guess this particular church is famous for creating this ginormous Jesus torso reaching up to the heavens in front of their new property. My dad says it looks like he's reacting to a football game after someone scored a basket, homerun or goal or whatever it is that people do in Football.



I also got a photo of the Dayton, Ohio skyline as we headed back to Tipp. Ironically, located prominently at the bottom of the photo is Sinclair Community College...the only official college I attended briefly in Ohio before moving to California. I had no idea it was part of the photo until I uploaded it a few minutes ago.

Since it's Friday, I thought I'd avoid more posts about my phobia-filled childhood and questionable manhood and focus on one of my favorite weekend things...



Calculus.

Yeah right....as if I had a brain cell that could comprehend Calculus.

My brother owns the only liquor store in our small town. See, in Ohio, you are only allowed to have one in any city. So, my brother bought our small carryout store and moved it away from its semi-hidden location down by the railroad tracks (you know..."that" part of town to many people) and placed it front and center into our fair city.

He made sure it wasn't scary looking, added a huge wine selection and scheduled regular wine tastings and...business is booming.



At the beginning, some people said that locals wouldn't like being so visible as they snuck their Boone's Farm and travel-size liquor bottles into their cars and purses during the day...but it's actually done quite the opposite.

I was pleasantly surprised at how busy it was as people of all ages, social standings and, for some, questionable grooming habits smiled their way in and out of the store in just the hour I was there.

There is no shame in enjoying a little tasty beverage now and then (as long as it doesn't run your life or hinder mine).



While browsing the shelves, I noticed this set of new wines simply called "Evil" and "Bitch".

After I stopped laughing I asked my brother if he sold a lot of this and, no surprise, he has. A lot! If I could sneak a case of that back to LA, I would.

Browsing the vast assortment of beverages made me think of my friends, for some reason. I can't imagine why....



I wondered how Oscar was adjusting to his new school schedule and the culture shock of leaving Atlanta and Asheville and being thrust back into the crazy tree-less LA lifestyle again.



I wondered how my friends David and Christine are doing in Atlanta. Are they hanging by the relaxing lake with Mike this weekend?



I wondered if Joel and Sheldon have managed to keep the plants alive around the house while I've been gone. Plus, I think that "Marilyn Merlot" is a genius name...



I wondered how Cindy, Gaby and Wiley were adjusting to their, now quieter, home after Maggie, Oscar (or "Osco" as Wiley called him) and I left.



I wondered how my friend John has managed to stay sane during his DMV job training the past couple of weeks and how my friend Lauren manages her long drive to and from work each day.



I wondered how my friends Chris R. and Andrew were getting through their long, hectic work weeks in LA. Calling Doctor Bombay. Emergency, emergency....come right away!



As for me...I wondered how many metric tons I've gained since leaving LA and eating so many wonderful, yet far from light, meals during my travels the past couple of weeks. Meals like this dietary breakfast I had a few days ago at the American Legion with my parents....



Yes...those are hash browns and gravy and, yes, I ate every coagulated bite.

But, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just gonna do what I usually do while I'm here...



Go down to the VFW with my parents and enjoy their nice friends, watch the chair-dart playing (when you are too drunk to stand up and play darts, they bring out chairs) and partake in the frighteningly cheap drinks (60 cents or a beer and $1.20 for a large mixed drink).

I mean...it is Friday, after all.

Touchdown!!!

4 comments:

jthoskins said...

This was a great post, Ken! A really lovely and personal wrap up of your musings... and a very funny glimpse of how your mind keeps track of the people you care about. :-)

Vampire Hours said...

And I wasn't even drunk...so that has to count for something.

Lauren said...

Thanks for the shout-out! Not sure how I survive each day...but clearly, I need to be drinking more. These series of posts about your hometown have been great - makes me want to spend a week there with the Martino clan :-)

Vampire Hours said...

Hey Lauren...you would certainly be welcome for a fun night of chair-darts at the VFW with my family any night!