Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Two Weeks Notice

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After only dating Jersey Shore's Snooki for a few weeks, her new boyfriend, Jeff Miranda, thinks that she's THE ONE and has decided to subtly pop the question ...on a magazine cover.

"I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She's so loving and puts everyone else before herself. She'll be a great mother. I love her and want to be with her. I will never break her heart. She's such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we're a match made in heaven. People think I'm using her for fame. But that's bullshit.”

Although his ex-girlfriend has a restraining order out on him for allegedly pointing a gun at her, I'm sure that won't get in the way of their blossoming love affair.

Plus, he's right...Snooki always "puts everyone else before herself".

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She's allowing these nice police officers to lead her to their car after her own arrest recently.

Jeff's right...it's a match made in heaven.

Monday, August 30, 2010

I'm not junk, Occifer

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There is a very interesting article on Time.com that states that people who drink tend to live longer than those who don't...

A new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that — for reasons that aren't entirely clear — abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one's risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers' mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.

Of course, drunk people are more prone to falling down and injuring themselves or walking out in front of a bus...so I'm not really sure that this report is the definitive case study to rely on to decide whether having "one more drink" is the wisest choice.

Here are a few examples of some folks who obviously weren't part of the study done for the research...

This video shows that drinking and exercise don't really mix very well.



After the 39 second mark, watch as this guy sadly attempts to keep upright as he battles with the cooler doors at a little market.



This guy runs into more than trouble at the Police Station after being brought in for a DUI.



And this guy appears to be having a "little" difficulty navigating his way up a slight hill.



Oh...the drunk kids and their equilibrium-challenged hijinks.

videos via:gawker

Friday, August 27, 2010

Sublime

I love these vintage-style ads...

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That guy's got a pretty big Twitter-Box in his hand.

He's going to be very popular.

If you missed the ads created for Facebook, YouTube and Skype...click here

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Come aboard...we're expecting you

Dancing With the Stars has become the Love Boat of this new TV generation. The producers are really stretching the limits of the term "Star", but it doesn't seem to matter. Each new season continues serving up a big steaming Pu Pu Platter of Pop Culture pioneers for audiences to shove in their optic pie-holes.

The new cast won't be officially announced until August 30th, but word on the Internets is that these folks have already signed or are in the process of signing on for Season 11...

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David Hasselhoff is already having fittings for potential gown options.

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Kirstie Alley (seen here meeting with her agent) should thank Xenu that someone is even considering her for another gig after that God-awful Big Life series she did last year.

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Bristol Palin is probably joining the show just to make Levi Johnston jealous and to distract from his run (and "reality"-TV show focus) for Mayor of Wasilla.

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Florence Henderson has started personally interviewing dance partners.

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And Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is getting in shape for his turn on the floor by eating lots and lots of AbCakes.

I've still got my fingers crossed that, when we hear the complete list of "stars" in a couple weeks, this name is dropped in at the last minute...

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Of course, he's an entirely different "situation" altogether.

An abs...olutely terrifying situation.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Holiday Cheer

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Annie Lennox will be releasing a new CD, A Christmas Cornucopia, on November 22nd...

As one of the world’s most successful and critically-acclaimed British female artists in pop music history, Ms. Lennox will release her brand new album, “A Christmas Cornucopia,” on November 22nd through Island Records UK and Decca Records in the US and the rest of the world.

The album features Ms. Lennox’s unique and personal interpretations of some of her favorite Christmas carols as well as a completely new, and wonderful, original composition entitled, “Universal Child.”


I do love me some Annie Lennox, so I can't wait for this to come out.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Empty Nest

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I'm not quite sure who collects nesting dolls, but like creepy dolls, I find these TV-themed creations a little disturbing.

Designing Women
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True Blood
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No, I don't want these for Christmas.

Or...ever.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Swing Shift

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Now that the kids are back in school, that means that the new Fall TV season is quickly approaching. It's always been my favorite time of the year.

This shot from the new season of The Office brought a smile to my face.

I have really missed my shows.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Bags Gone Wild

This is a great mockumentary about the journey of the magestic plastic bag as it flees the big city and attempts to get home to the giant pollution island floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

It's like watching a wildlife documentary on the Discovery Channel, but with Jeremy Irons talking about...a bag.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

She bangs

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Chelsea is gonna host MTV's Video Music Awards this year...

Chelsea Handler, who just announced tonight on her E! talk show that she’s hosting the Sept. 12 event, should provide plenty of morning-after quotables for the blogosphere. So why did MTV choose her? “This has been a huge year for hip-hop and rap, and it is well-known that I have the closest ties with these communities — musically and sexually,”

I can't wait to see that...she is one of the funniest women on TV these days. Plus, for anyone who didn't already know, she's now dating animal trainer, Dave Salmoni.

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SalMOni.

Here is a clip of him on her show...



I bet they have a lot of relations.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hello Larry

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Kathy Griffin was on Larry King Live and discussed the recent decision on Prop 8, Levi Johnson and his new baby-mama, and her feelings about whether Dr. Laura is actually a real doctor...



"I wouldn't go to her for a Pap smear."

I. Love. Kathy.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

View to a thrill

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Green Lantern's Ryan Reynolds and his genetically-matched wife, Scarlett Johansson, just purchased this hilltop "cottage" in Los Feliz, California for a measly $2.9 million.

Ryan wanted to make sure that the whole city of Los Angeles had a nice view of his abs upon waking each morning.

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He's always thinking of others...it's a good quality.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Who's that girl?

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Madonna turns 52 today and celebrated her birthday over the weekend in London.

As usual...she looked great.

We should all be investing in her skincare line and using it daily...

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I'm ordering it in bulk.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The luckiest People

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The new People magazine has a feature article on Joe Manganiello, True Blood's resident werewolf, Alcide.

So...there's that.

I really need to start watching this show.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Send in the Clowns

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Evidently Teri Hatcher is desperate to distill those pesky rumors about having plastic surgery or botox, so she posted a couple of photos on Facebook to make her point:

Pissed at the people who say she's had plastic surgery, Teri Hatcher took to Facebook with a photo album called "Oy with the Botox!!!" featuring photos of herself dripping wet and furrowing her brow: "Out of the bath getting ready for bed. Thought about all those damn critics of my face. Love it or hate it, my face that is, no surgery, no implants, no matter what 'they' say. Decided I'd shoot myself in to reveal some truths about 'beauty' and hope it makes you all easier on yourself.

I'm not sure that these photos prove anything (I don't see any lines around her surprisingly smooth mouth or eyes) in the grand scheme of things...

Because Desperate Housewives is still a freak show with or without the enhancements.

And what's a freak show without clowns? Just listen to impressionist Carly Sakolove's Diva-studded version of Send in the Clowns. She creates a very eclectic gathering of Broadway singers like Bernadette Peters, Liza, Patti Lupone, Julie Andrews and (my favorite)...Elaine Stritch.



When "Elaine" first came in and sang "Send in the Clowns" I almost shot orange juice out of my nose from laughing.

Her barfly voice is like the anti-Enya.

I am off to Ohio tonight to visit the family for a week.

Oh, the humidity.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Intergalactic Hoover

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In the upcoming movie Skyline, it appears that aliens have figured out a very efficient way to solve the variety of problems on our planet.

Just remove all of the people...



I wish I could do that to cars during rush hour.

My commute would be SO much easier.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Wax On!

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It looks like there's a new Sue in town...

Jane Lynch unveiled her very own Madame Tussauds wax figure in Hollywood on August 4. The figure, portraying Lynch as her character Sue Sylvester on the hit show Glee, responded by unleashing a wave of venom and triumph across the state of California.

I also read that Jane Lynch will be hosting an episode of Saturday Night Live in the fall.

Delicious.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Shields and Yarnell

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Sad news this past weekend...

Lorene Yarnell, who with Robert Shields formed the mime-and-dance comedy team Shields and Yarnell, a familiar presence on television in the 1970s, died on July 29 after suffering a brain aneurysm at her home in Sandefjord, Norway. She was 66.

With Mr. Shields, her husband at the time, Ms. Yarnell starred in the variety show “Shields and Yarnell,” broadcast on CBS in 1977 and 1978. She had originally trained as a dancer, he as a mime; after meeting in the early 1970s, each learned the other’s art. Together they developed a style that was an amalgam of the two.

I really used to enjoy their show (Robert Shields...very sponge-worthy), especially when they played the robotic couple "The Clinkers".



I remember how several of my friends and I would impersonate the Clinkers at school back in the day. Of course, it only managed to solidify our nerd/geek status amongst the cool kids.

You just get used to wedgies after a while...

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I also remember getting this issue of Dynamite Magazine (which I subscribed to in my small Ohio town for all the cool TV news and the potential of a Brooke Shields or Wonder Woman article) and being excited because Ms. Yarnell had also just guest-starred on an episode of Wonder Woman playing Formicida, the Ant Queen.

It was a win-win for me at the time.

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Also...Patricia Neal passed away this weekend as well:

Academy-Award winning actress Patricia Neal, whose off-screen life was one of dramatic triumph over adversity, died Sunday at her home in Edgartown, Massachusetts. She was 84.

Neal is best known for her role as Alma in "Hud," where she played a housekeeper who did not fall for cowboy Paul Newman's charms. She won an Academy Award for the role.

Neal also won a Golden Globe award for her performance as Olivia Walton in 1971's "The Homecoming: A Christmas Story," the television movie that served as the pilot episode for the TV series "The Waltons." Concerns over Neal's health and her ability to handle the difficulties of a weekly television series led the producers to offer the role to Michael Learned when the show when into production.

Friday, August 6, 2010

McMann and Tate

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If Darrin Stevens was still working in advertising today, I think these would be his pitches for the new "Internets" client...

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Larry Tate would hate them and threaten to fire Darrin.

The client would LOVE them.

THEN...Larry would quickly agree and brag about how hard he and Darrin had worked on them!

The world is full of Tates.

via: gawker

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A haunting we will go

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My dear friend Maggie moved back east to Tennessee last year and I miss her terribly (you might remember her from my visit to historic Jonesborough and Abingdon, VA.).

But, she's found her happy place there and, for whatever reason, doesn't seem to miss the traffic and chaos of Los Angeles one bit. So, I'm very happy for her.

While there, she has become an integral part of a group called the Haunt Masters Club. Here is a bit of info on them:

The Haunt Masters Club is a not-for-profit paranormal research and investigative group that formed in 2003 and services northeast Tennessee, southwest Virginia and western North Carolina. Our investigations are conducted with professionalism, discretion, and thorough analysis. We also maintain a rigid privacy policy and your information will never be shared with outside individuals.

Maggie and another member of her team, John, were interviewed recently on their local news show, Daytime Tri-Cities, about what they do and how they handle the variety of unusual cases that come their way. They're kinda like the Scooby Gang of Ghostbusters. I'll let them explain it...



The Daytime Tri-Cities setting and the host remind me a lot of the fictitious Pawnee Today local news show on Parks and Recreation.

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Now that's spooky!

The only thing scarier would be Paul Lynde doing the weather...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

On a clear day...

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Jennifer Aniston got the Steisand makeover on the new Bazaar cover. They did a pretty good job, don't ya' think?

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Of course, Barbra kinda stole Jenn's hairstyle a while back, so I suppose it's only fair that she do the same.

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It's amazing what can be done with a little makeup and lighting, isn't it? I mean...look at this pic of Babs away from the spotlight and compare...

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Papa, can you see me?

"Yes, I can and this is exactly the reason why I always told you never to leave the house without running a comb through that hair and slapping on a little rouge!"

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Little Fockers

I really liked Meet the Parents and, somehow, I missed Meet the Fockers which I really wanted to see at the time. But sequels wait for no man and now...it's time to meet the wee Fockers.



It looks focked-up and funny.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Blunder Twin Powers - Activate!

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These two twins, Igor and Grichka Bogdanoff, were famous for starring in some 80's French sci-fi shows until they became obsessed with plastic surgery...and now they look like that.

Here is what they looked like before:

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And, again...now.

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"Bonjour everyone. We'll see you in your nightmares!"