Friday, March 7, 2008

Oh...it rained here

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A LOT! We had us one of them thar thunderbusters last night. It actually was pretty cool to watch, with the lightening and all. Of course, my favorite part of it was watching unprepared people running through it. I saw a drunk girl almost run into a tree because she had pulled part of her blouse up over her head (you know how water-repellant blouse material is) in an attempt to shield herself from the downpour. She missed the tree by that much...darn!

I mean WHEW...glad she missed it! I certainly wouldn't have wanted to see her actually run into the tree.

I lie.

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I'm having a lazy day today. I was up far later than I expected last night, so I wandered around the corner to grab a ginger ale to ease my unsettled stomach. On the way back, I noticed that a Showgirls bar is right next door to the neighborhood McDonalds. I've seen some of those McStrippers standing out front late at night and, I have to tell you...they're not as Mclovely as they appear on TV and film. They're actually a bit McSkinky (skinky=a cross between Skanky and Stinky).

I'm sure McDonalds was proud to break ground on that flagship store.

You should see their Mayor McSleaze figurines with the stripper pole built in.

Priceless.

5 comments:

gonoles84 said...

Did you bring a McBumbershoot? Ooooh, that might protect you from the McWhores.

Mark Ward said...

I hate to tell you in this very public forum, but you were voted off American Idol. So sorry. It seems that your 15 minutes have passed.

jthoskins said...

Ken: "I was up far later than I expected last night..." But that's not the *whole* story, is it Ken? "Why no, Joel, you're right... when I returned to my hotel lobby, as drenched as when I wrapped principle "shooting" on my latest bukkake film, the dusky and breathtakingly intuitive concierge hustled me back into the luggage room, helped out of my wet clothes, and... (Boww-Chicka-Bowwow)

Vampire Hours said...

Wow Joel, I know what you've been doing a lot of now that you've got the house to yourself (boww-chicka-bowwow). Please make sure you have the couch fully steam cleaned before I get back. I've had a rough enough day, just finding out I've been eliminated from "American Idol" (maybe I should not have chosen "One Less Bell To Answer" as my showcase song). Thankfully, I have my McBumbershoot with me, just in case I need it for any McProblems.

Mark Ward said...

Just a clarification...it was NOT the song choice (though one could argue that trying to turn "One Less Bell to Answer" into a rap is probably not the best choice). Many simply thought that doing it in black face was, well, a little distasteful.